For Easier Viewing

Hello All!

Due to the diverse nature of the things that I actually blog about, I have decided to put them into specific links.

The links is right beside this post! So feel free to read the topics you are interested in! :)

For the Rattle, it is about any random thoughts I have.

For Christian Living, it is mostly thoughts I gathered about God in my process of knowing Him better.

For Reviews, I basically review things ranging from movie, to products I buy, or website I find interesting.

For Academic Life, needless to say it is all about knowledge gained from my work and studies.

Thanks for dropping by!

Press Conference

15.04.2011

Worked for half a day and then took off to KL Sentral. Met Abang KNB and his cute gang of Abang Bad and Abang Mont.

Abang KNB invited me to go to press conference for his very first novel. Very proud of his achievement as I knew he worked very hard for it. 3000 copy is out for sale, so people, grab your chance to buy his novel, Pecah at the KL International Book Festival. Or else, you can just buy it through Amazon. Great reading for fiction!

Officially on Twitter.

Hey people!

Suetnie is officially on Twitter like 10 minutes ago!

Still find it very confusing. Aduish!

Rejection (10.4.2011)

For the past few days, I was pretty active on Facebook.

Checking people out (or stalking, whichever you prefer)

And I derived one conclusion from the many statuses.

*One deepest desire of human is to be chosen and accepted.

One deepest fear of human is to be rejected.*

To be pretty maybe a dream of ordinary girl,

To be successful maybe a dream of a man,

But whoever you are,

As long as you are human,

You long to be chosen.

That is why human often put on fake mask.

To be chosen by the audience that so often reject them.

放生

放生

I do not know how to write Chinese, but I know this two words. It is pronounced as "fong sang".

Direct translation to English using Google means "release".

It is a term that people used when they released caught fishes back into sea where the fishes belong.

I listened to a Chinese song with this title.

The song said...

*Because I love you so much, I am willing to release you,

As I do not want to be facing you, hanging on you seemingly half dead,

It is time to let my hands go,

As I understand, to release you is to release myself.*

Not once, but many times, this lyrics speaks of my life.

Sometimes, to love, it means to let go....

As a fish back to sea,

So long you are happy.

Who says u will be good at what u like?

One thing I enjoy very much in life is to sing. I think my interest started way back when I was about standard 3. You know, days when you listen to cassette and you have to rewind the tape in order to listen to the same song? That was what I do. I remembered my very first cassette was Max 3. The two songs that I first learnt by heart to sing was Forever by Damage and Reflection by Christina Aguilera.

So if you know I am loud, it is all courtesy of all the shouting I did when I was a kiddo. Hehe.

But my real singing started when I start attending church. I really loved church songs even when I was not a Christian. Since I became a Christian, singing became a big part of my life. I sing when I am deep in thoughts, I sing when I am happy, I sing when I am sad. In fact, until now, I have a song in mind most of the time.

I always feel sad that I can't sing well. I always feel that I am not talented to sing. Somehow, there come a point of time, I feel I should stop singing at all.

But you know what, I realized it doesn't matter. I realized having a bad voice does not mean I have to stop singing. I will continue to sing my heart out for the Lord.

P/s - but probably tone down a bit for the sake of ears around me. hehe. :)

Laman yang sudah berhabuk

Hey people. I am really sorry for the lack of updates. Writer's block. :P

Today, it was such a fun time that I had together with Shir Li, Zeke and Jacob. Just a simple lunch. It was just great that in their simple ways, they shared their zeal for God's Word and their love for Jacob boy. Jacob boy is such a fun boy to be with. :)

Yesterday was a great time shopping with mum. Mid Valley was quite good as it wasn't quite packed. Hope mum had a good time with all the shoppings and makan time. But I realized how mum is getting older, gettin tired more easily. I feel so much love for her, and I wish there is just more that I can do for her.

Met up with Edmund for breakfast then Lee san in the afternoon for lunch on Saturday. It is just so great to see how they have matured from where they were to where they are. Yet they remained the same and the fellowship we shared is still there.

I was out with Chandran for a whole day of outing on Saturday. I realized how much I missed out on his progress in life and how much he went through for the past 1 year we haven't met. Went for Balinese food - quite a good choice by chandran and also IKEA! :) Love the trip to IKEA. IKEA always fascinate me.

Back track some more, I had a great time with Cheryl Jie and also Sugu to Canaan Land! Once I said I never been to any Christian book store, I was brought to Canaan Land ( two of it ) and not to mention Salvation and Evangel, courtesy of Pei Yee!

Now i can proudly say I went to 3 Christian bookstores already! :D

Oh yeah, I had such a blessed first class with Billy Boy! My little kiddo in Sunday School. So glad he appeared after missing for 3 weeks! Oh the joy of teaching God's Word! :D

Though I am kinda jobless at the moment, all these moments of catching up made up for the sadness! Thanks everybody for cheering up my first month of the year!

Feel the Nails by Ray Boltz

Disclaimer : Just because I am sharing this song does not mean i condone the singer's lifestyle. :)

1st verse
They tell me Jesus died
For my transgressions
That he paid that price a long, long time ago
When he gave his life for me
On a hill called Calvary
But there's something else I want to know

Chorus
Does he still feel the nails
Every time I fail
Can he hear the crowd cry "Crucify" again
Am I causing him pain
Then I know I've got to change
I just can't bear the thought of hurting him.

2nd verse
It seems that I'm so good at breaking promises
And I treat his precious grace so carelessly
But each time he forgives
What if he re-lives
The agony He felt on that tree

Chorus 1x

Holy, holy
Holy is the Lord
Holy Holy
Holy is the Lord

Do you still feel the nails
Every time I fail
Have I crucified you Jesus with my sins
Oh I'm tired of playing games
I really want to change
I never want to hurt you again

Holy, Holy
Holy is the Lord
Holy, Holy
Holy is the Lord

Something bizarre

Last night, I was sleeping in the hall's couch when I was awakened by loud bang (seriously loud) at 4 a.m. My first reaction was to check on my family. So I ran upstairs only to be met by my dad, asking me what the noise was, and i said i have no idea. Then I went downstairs to check on my mum and my bro, only to find them both in my bro's room shouting at somebody at our backyard.

That somebody turned out to be a man, around 30 plus or so, throwing things at our backyard wall (vase and what not- source of the loud bang) and not only that, he was shouting at my house. Was definitely perplexed. I went upstairs, and found my father shouting from upstairs at this particular man ( HOI!!! HOI!!! )

The noise was so loud, it awakened my neighbors. Apparently he wasn't only throwing things at my backyard, but also our neighbor house. My brother kept shouting at him from inside the house and I kept telling him to not provoke the man (was kinda guessing he is running amok).

The scariest part was when he went off from my backyard and went to the front yard instead and start throwing things into our house and neighbor's house. My father wanted to go out, but i insisted that he stay inside the house as I am afraid he might harm my dad. But of course my dad's main concern was that this guy will break our cars mirrors or damage our cars with the things he threw.

My brother went out from the house and to cut the long story short, with a couple neighbors, overpowered him. They shouted at him and asked him what was all the throwing for. Apparently he was looking for his wife who is sleeping with another man in house number 31 (my house number is 29 by the way).

But we can smell strong stench of alcohol and he insisted his wife is in my neighbor's house, when my neighbor knows nothing. My neighbors were all s angry, they beat him then they let him go.

Then he walked off and still wandering around my street, mumbling and apparently still looking for his wife. My family and neighbors all stood there for about 1/2 hour after that on the streets just observing him and see what he will do. Soon enough, he disappeared and we have no idea where he is.

From what we gathered, apparently he created havoc at the "jalan" before my "jalan" too. And he climbed many people's house backyard ( my house as well ).

It was seriously traumatic. He threw metal rod into my house backyard. Dad's car also suffered scratches as he threw plastic pots into my house with all the muds.

Whole commotion ended by 5 a.m.

Through out the whole time, I was really hanging on to God and praying hard.

I can't praise God enough for a couple of things.

1. He protected everyone. No one was injured.

2. None of the windows and anyone's car was damaged.

3. For the spirit of oneness among my neighbors.

- This is heart warming when you see, how everyone come together and stood together through out the ordeal. They watched over each other's back and everyone is asking everyone if everyone is ok irregardless of everyone's race and background. (hehe, i love the rhyme)

My heart was still pounding when I go to sleep and until now, I can still feel the fear, but what made me slept well last night was this verses that kept ringing in my mind. I kept reciting it until I fall asleep. :) Thank you Lord.

Psalms 121:

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

One Last Cry

Raindrops + emo song = mellow and emo mood. :) Here i present - One Last Cry by Brian McKnight.

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry

Cry......
I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....

I’m gonna dry my eyesRight after I had my
One last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down...
To my last cry...

Oh on another note, here you go for the picture of the pig that i promised!

December the 1st

Haiz everyone. Sorry for not updating.

Here is a note to thank all who wished me on my birthday. :) This birthday celebration was more quiet and peaceful. In fact i think it was one of the best birthday i ever had. So many touching incidents for this time.

a) Miss Chin Pei Ling who bothered to organise the very 1st birthday party in 21st century and asked people like Christine, Weng Keet and Calvin along. ( and oh, it was a joint birthday celebration with Christine!). One thing about Miss Chin Pei Ling, she never failed to remember my birthday. Every year, small or big, she definitely will celebrate with me. She is such a lovely sister that I can't stop thanking God for her presence in my life. :)

b) On the day of my birthday, i celebrated in Kepong together with my cousins. My cousin Suet Cheng was more than eager to have me there. Her excitement when she knew I am comin make me feel so loved. It was very sweet of Suet Mei who insisted that I go to Kepong though she lost some precious hours of studying for her SPM because of me.

c) My serious face Uncle who is a primary school "penolong kanan of guru besar" ( just to let u imagine how serious he can be ) actually sang for me loud and clear birthday song. Sucha gesture from him is so touching.

d) On the night of fellowship dinner, Mr Chin Liang gave me a self made pig from tissues and balloon. I knew that it required alot of efforts into it and time. I am also touched that he actually take my word to heart when i said i wanted that self made pig and jokingly asked him to make me one. Pictures on that lovely pig later!

e) My boss a.k.a lecturer Dr Chang actually knew it was my birthday and he wished me. So touched. Simple gesture that is much appreciated from a good boss!

f) Miss Lau Cheng Cheng who actually called from Rusia just to wish me.

I am tearing up just thinkin of all these.All these only serve to remind me how warmed I am and how well loved I am. I am blessed. Blessed with good family, friends and assembly. I can't thank God enough. I just don't deserve all these.

THANK YOU LORD.

Happy December everyone. May this month be a fruitful and blessed month! :)

Some thoughts.

In our lives, im sure all of us have people whom we are close to.

You know, people that you always hang out with.

People that you find when you are in need of advice.

People that you always buy things for and all.

It's what we call our "inner circle" of friends.

They make us feel warm and that we belonged somewhere.

But..

There are certain times in life, when you want to be close to someone,

But that someone just never accept it, probably due to some issues of past or maybe that person is prejudiced for some reasons.

It can be pretty crushing you know.

To be judged for your past and not for who you are.

Guess some stains can never be clean.

But let me tell you this,

Just because someone does not make you their priority list, it does not mean that you have to stop making them your priority.

Keep trying. The Lord was rejected time and time, He endured it all. No servant is greater than the Master.

A new month.

Well November is here!

Each new month that comes always remind me that, the Lord had just granted me another month of life to make a difference on Earth.

It's almost the sunset of 2010, 2011 is beckoning at the horizon.

It's been a year of DECISIONS to me. And this year, am glad to say, change me in so many ways.

Many ups such as my internship, my graduation, my commencement of Masters studies, working, and went to Sabah.

The down side, my dad's admission to hospital and many others that are too private to mentioned that are tough, wonderful and humbling lessons from the Lord.

But u noe, i think what i carry in my memories are less of events and happenings.

What remains in my small tiny finite brains are footprints that people leave in my heart.

The things my loved ones said, the laughters, the encouragement, the rebuke.

Many had make a difference in my life. This month as i step into 22nd year of my life, i wanna thank each of u for the wonderful footprints u left in my heart. U know who u r.

I believe

I believe for every drop of rain that falls,
A flower grows,
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night,
A candle glows.
I believe for everyone who goes astray,
Someone will come to show the way.
I believe,
I believe.

I believe above the storm the smallest prayer,
Will still be heard.
I believe that someone in the great somewhere,
Hears every word.
Every time I hear a new born baby cry,
Or touch a leaf or see the sky.
Then I know why,
I believe.

Every time I hear a new born baby cry,
Or touch a leaf or see the sky.
Then I know why,
I believe.

THIS IS A SONG THAT I HEARD AND IT RINGS SO TRUE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. SINGER OF THIS SONG IS CONNIE TALBOT, A YOUNG KID WHO IS A RARE GEM IN D WORLD OF SINGING.

LORD, I BELIEVE....

Multitasking

I was on FB on Tuesday and my friend, Miss CPL tagged me on a note about multitasking. Thanks a bunch. I was truly humbled by the note and how much my life is affected by multitasking.



I have always pride myself as a good multitasker n im sure many of you feel the same way. After all, how can we not multitask in this fast pace world right?



Like listening to songs + doin assignments + chatting on phone/messenger/fb or sms.



When im online, i will be on google finding infos + reading + chatting + updating FB + downloading things + check mail. I think i open at least 3 tabs each time im online.



At home, i will be reading book/newspaper/eating + sms + watching TV + talking to family members.



Even when waiting for train/bus/my dad to fetch me, i def will read + sms + listen to music.



Well, i can go on and on how one can multitask, but that is not the point. What struck me when i examine my own life is how much multitasking can affect one's life to the extend that it make our life so shallow and meaningless.



My heart is never where my body is. I am always thinking about doing something else and ever restless, ever rushing and ever thinking where I am headed next.



I often write with short forms even when i don't need to because it saves time. ( cheryl jie is gonna jump in agreement to this, i know. :D )



I want to finish all my work as soon as possible and i try to do more than 1 work at the time to be efficient but in the end, trust me, i take double the time and the quality is half as good.



You know, it can even sap into how I relate to God and people.



I read as many books as i can regarding Christianity in a go, i read the Bible in a chunk and keeping prayers, all at the same time. When I am praying, sometimes, I am not really there.



I realised that i also multitask when it comes to loved ones around me. I try to keep in touch with all and chat with all and keepin updated with all. Facebook of course make this much easier. But at the end of the day, other than the shallowness of knowing the basic stuffs, do i really know what is going on in their lives? Do i really listen and take to heart what they tell me?



I am humbled. I no longer want to be a multitasker.



For a start, I want to learn to read small portion of Bible and really concentrate on it.



When I talk to people, I want to do nothing but talking and listening to them. I will put my phone aside and not let my mind wander. I want to concentrate on building relationships and not mere shallow relationships.



I will do my assignment one at a time.



I will do away with my earphone while I am reading.

I will read and think through what i read. I don't care if I am finishing the book slow.

As Paul put it, I am going to put it into practise - WORK AT EVERYTHING WITH ALL YOUR HEART AS WORKING UNTO THE LORD.

I will take the challenge from Jim Elliot - TO BE 100% WHERE I REALLY AM.

P/s - Cheryl Jie, i shall write my blog in full words now. No more shortcuts.:D

HAIZ

Hurm....Not doing enough.

Been stung by the bee of laziness.

Suetnie, move move!!! Keep going!!!!!!

Little things in life

As I sit here and write, i can't help but to thx God for such a blessed life. Aunt Kim's lesson for the Sunday School children about thxfulness stuck in my mind. ( Yup, as i serve, even i am reminded of many things, such is the wonder of God's service ).

I admit,i dun have the most happening life. Im not a girl who turns head around and some1 that every1 will go hoohaa over...I may not be smart, I may not be rich, I may have the most boring life you can ever imagine.

But yet, I will not trade my life for anyone's life because....

1. I know a God who will never leave me, who accepts me as I am and love me so much that His grace is all sufficient.

2. I have the coolest daddy and mummy in the world. They understand me, completely support me, listen to me, and care for me the best way they could. They had always been such pillar of strength, and someone that I run to in times of need, and they think the world of their daughter though I dun deserve it as I am not the best daughter in the world.

3. I have two brothers who are very unique in their own way. One never hesitate to drive me anywhere as long as he can. Another one never hesitate to borrow me money should I need it. They care for me in their own subtle ways. Love them so much.

4. I have a great assembly of Christians who in everyway showed that they cared, prayed and loved me much as I don't deserve their love. People who cared dearly for me is too many to tell here. But they are always deep in my heart. Aunt Kim, Weng Keet, Pei Ling, Pei Yee, Suguna, Cheryl Jie, Guna Kor, they are some of the dear ones that cross my mind now.

5. I have friends who don't mind even if I don't keep in touch with them and yet when I see them, we can talk as though there is no end to the conversation. Miss Hui Hsien and Cheng Cheng are just some of the examples. Not to mention people like Joann Lee, Yik Ling, Valene Lam, Xian Shi and Kirsten.

6. I have coursemates who turned out to be my best buddies. Vaani, Kogi, Anne Cheah, Leesan Chong, Jingjing Liew especially left a deep footprints in my heart. They shared laughters, moments of distress and even till now, the friendship never end.

5. I may not be the smart, but by God's grace, I am now takin Masters in UKM. It took me overall fees of about RM 17,000 since my Form 6 to reach this stage. How can I thx God enough for the privilege to do this. Only by His grace that I am where I am.

6. I am such a blur girl, but in His amazing wonder and providence, my supervisor in university, Kak Gee, looked to me and she is happy with my progress. Her encouragement spoke volumes to my heart and I am so thxful for her guidance. She is the best that I can ask for a supervisor.

7. Since I started Masters, I have been offered a job as research assistant by Dr Chang who gave me chance to work on project basis and he had been such an understanding employer. I learnt so much in the process of working. Oh D Lord's wonderful provision. :D

8. Kak Gee has offered me to work with her on contract basic. But things will only be confirmed after raya break. But the fact that she even think about making me her research assistant make me feel so privileged.

9. I have wonderful coursemates for Masters. People like Jo Hou and Anatta Lee ( Facebook names, LOL ) had been so hounded by me but they never complained and they always helped me whenever I have any questions or enquiries. They are so cute and humorous in their own ways that I am so grateful that they are taking Masters. Not to mention Zee and Emy and Krish whom im so comfortable with and inspired me with their hardworking attitude and maturity.

10. I knew so many new friends recently who are takin Masters with me. They are ALL nice people and wonderful people to talk to. Their humble attitude and their jovial ways though they have such vast experience working or they are PhD students taught me alot.

11. I may not be the pretty girl and I may not be good in dressing up or make up, but I have God and people who love me just the way I am and I look just fine in their eyes. :)

I can write on and on.....But I will stop here and sum it only wit three words....

THANK YOU LORD

If Only

10th grade - As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called "best friend".
I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her.
She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade - The phone rang. On the other end, it was her.
She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year - The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did.
Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it.
Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day - A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later - Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now.
I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!".
She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral - Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend".
At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!
`I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

P/s - just an amusing note tt i got from my fren's FB. :) Hope u enjoyed it.

Dear you...

Dear you,

I noe how sum times,
Life can seems 2 go down hill,
Even wit d Lord's hands,
We frail humans feel tired of d struggles in tis world.

Needless 4 me 2 tell u,
How d Lord is Almighty, All Sufficient,
It is my prayer tt u'll find rest in Him in times lik these...

Even s sumtimes u might tink u r insignificant,
Sumtimes u feel tt u r replacable,
I wanna tell u tis...

From the heart,
U r nt replacable in my heart.
Bcos u r unique, d one n only,
tt d Lord had created tis way.

D way u smile, ur laughter,
Ur passion s u play d piano,
D way u care subtly n easily,
Ur unpretentious ways...

D memories we shared, may not seems much 2 u,
But i can't tell u how immensely im grateful for u.

U had been a dear sister in Christ,
But most importantly, thx u...
For bein u...

*hugs*

1st September

A new month...

A new start...

Dear Lord, guide me...

May tis b a good month ahead..

Oh yeah, recently addicted 2 Michael Jackson's old song, Gone Too Soon

Tragic, how it speaks about him...

"Gone Too Soon"

Like A Comet

Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky

Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow

Fading

In The Twinkling Of An Eye

Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly

And Splendidly Bright

Here One Day

Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight

On A Cloudy Afternoon

Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle

Built Upon A Sandy Beach

Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower

That Is Just Beyond Your Reach

Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse,

To Inspire, To Delight

Here One Day

Gone One Night

Like A Sunset

Dying With The Rising Of The Moon

Gone Too Soon

Gone Too Soon

Time reali flies...

Anyone can b here, gone tmrw..

Appreciate Your Loved Ones..