Suetnie's inner girl

For Easier Viewing

2011-07-21T22:57:00.002+08:00

Hello All!

Due to the diverse nature of the things that I actually blog about, I have decided to put them into specific links.

The links is right beside this post! So feel free to read the topics you are interested in! :)

For the Rattle, it is about any random thoughts I have.

For Christian Living, it is mostly thoughts I gathered about God in my process of knowing Him better.

For Reviews, I basically review things ranging from movie, to products I buy, or website I find interesting.

For Academic Life, needless to say it is all about knowledge gained from my work and studies.

Thanks for dropping by!

Press Conference

2011-04-15T17:01:00.002+08:00

15.04.2011

Worked for half a day and then took off to KL Sentral. Met Abang KNB and his cute gang of Abang Bad and Abang Mont.

Abang KNB invited me to go to press conference for his very first novel. Very proud of his achievement as I knew he worked very hard for it. 3000 copy is out for sale, so people, grab your chance to buy his novel, Pecah at the KL International Book Festival. Or else, you can just buy it through Amazon. Great reading for fiction!

Officially on Twitter.

2011-04-12T16:49:00.000+08:00

Hey people!

Suetnie is officially on Twitter like 10 minutes ago!

Still find it very confusing. Aduish!

Rejection (10.4.2011)

2011-04-10T19:16:00.000+08:00

For the past few days, I was pretty active on Facebook.

Checking people out (or stalking, whichever you prefer)

And I derived one conclusion from the many statuses.

*One deepest desire of human is to be chosen and accepted.

One deepest fear of human is to be rejected.*

To be pretty maybe a dream of ordinary girl,

To be successful maybe a dream of a man,

But whoever you are,

As long as you are human,

You long to be chosen.

That is why human often put on fake mask.

To be chosen by the audience that so often reject them.

放生

2011-04-08T12:38:00.000+08:00

放生

I do not know how to write Chinese, but I know this two words. It is pronounced as "fong sang".

Direct translation to English using Google means "release".

It is a term that people used when they released caught fishes back into sea where the fishes belong.

I listened to a Chinese song with this title.

The song said...

*Because I love you so much, I am willing to release you,

As I do not want to be facing you, hanging on you seemingly half dead,

It is time to let my hands go,

As I understand, to release you is to release myself.*

Not once, but many times, this lyrics speaks of my life.

Sometimes, to love, it means to let go....

As a fish back to sea,

So long you are happy.

Who says u will be good at what u like?

2011-02-08T10:19:00.002+08:00

One thing I enjoy very much in life is to sing. I think my interest started way back when I was about standard 3. You know, days when you listen to cassette and you have to rewind the tape in order to listen to the same song? That was what I do. I remembered my very first cassette was Max 3. The two songs that I first learnt by heart to sing was Forever by Damage and Reflection by Christina Aguilera.

So if you know I am loud, it is all courtesy of all the shouting I did when I was a kiddo. Hehe.

But my real singing started when I start attending church. I really loved church songs even when I was not a Christian. Since I became a Christian, singing became a big part of my life. I sing when I am deep in thoughts, I sing when I am happy, I sing when I am sad. In fact, until now, I have a song in mind most of the time.

I always feel sad that I can't sing well. I always feel that I am not talented to sing. Somehow, there come a point of time, I feel I should stop singing at all.

But you know what, I realized it doesn't matter. I realized having a bad voice does not mean I have to stop singing. I will continue to sing my heart out for the Lord.

P/s - but probably tone down a bit for the sake of ears around me. hehe. :)

Laman yang sudah berhabuk

2011-01-26T13:06:00.000+08:00

Hey people. I am really sorry for the lack of updates. Writer's block. :P

Today, it was such a fun time that I had together with Shir Li, Zeke and Jacob. Just a simple lunch. It was just great that in their simple ways, they shared their zeal for God's Word and their love for Jacob boy. Jacob boy is such a fun boy to be with. :)

Yesterday was a great time shopping with mum. Mid Valley was quite good as it wasn't quite packed. Hope mum had a good time with all the shoppings and makan time. But I realized how mum is getting older, gettin tired more easily. I feel so much love for her, and I wish there is just more that I can do for her.

Met up with Edmund for breakfast then Lee san in the afternoon for lunch on Saturday. It is just so great to see how they have matured from where they were to where they are. Yet they remained the same and the fellowship we shared is still there.

I was out with Chandran for a whole day of outing on Saturday. I realized how much I missed out on his progress in life and how much he went through for the past 1 year we haven't met. Went for Balinese food - quite a good choice by chandran and also IKEA! :) Love the trip to IKEA. IKEA always fascinate me.

Back track some more, I had a great time with Cheryl Jie and also Sugu to Canaan Land! Once I said I never been to any Christian book store, I was brought to Canaan Land ( two of it ) and not to mention Salvation and Evangel, courtesy of Pei Yee!

Now i can proudly say I went to 3 Christian bookstores already! :D

Oh yeah, I had such a blessed first class with Billy Boy! My little kiddo in Sunday School. So glad he appeared after missing for 3 weeks! Oh the joy of teaching God's Word! :D

Though I am kinda jobless at the moment, all these moments of catching up made up for the sadness! Thanks everybody for cheering up my first month of the year!

Feel the Nails by Ray Boltz

2010-12-17T00:56:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer : Just because I am sharing this song does not mean i condone the singer's lifestyle. :)

1st verse
They tell me Jesus died
For my transgressions
That he paid that price a long, long time ago
When he gave his life for me
On a hill called Calvary
But there's something else I want to know

Chorus
Does he still feel the nails
Every time I fail
Can he hear the crowd cry "Crucify" again
Am I causing him pain
Then I know I've got to change
I just can't bear the thought of hurting him.

2nd verse
It seems that I'm so good at breaking promises
And I treat his precious grace so carelessly
But each time he forgives
What if he re-lives
The agony He felt on that tree

Chorus 1x

Holy, holy
Holy is the Lord
Holy Holy
Holy is the Lord

Do you still feel the nails
Every time I fail
Have I crucified you Jesus with my sins
Oh I'm tired of playing games
I really want to change
I never want to hurt you again

Holy, Holy
Holy is the Lord
Holy, Holy
Holy is the Lord

Something bizarre

2010-12-08T13:48:00.000+08:00

Last night, I was sleeping in the hall's couch when I was awakened by loud bang (seriously loud) at 4 a.m. My first reaction was to check on my family. So I ran upstairs only to be met by my dad, asking me what the noise was, and i said i have no idea. Then I went downstairs to check on my mum and my bro, only to find them both in my bro's room shouting at somebody at our backyard.

That somebody turned out to be a man, around 30 plus or so, throwing things at our backyard wall (vase and what not- source of the loud bang) and not only that, he was shouting at my house. Was definitely perplexed. I went upstairs, and found my father shouting from upstairs at this particular man ( HOI!!! HOI!!! )

The noise was so loud, it awakened my neighbors. Apparently he wasn't only throwing things at my backyard, but also our neighbor house. My brother kept shouting at him from inside the house and I kept telling him to not provoke the man (was kinda guessing he is running amok).

The scariest part was when he went off from my backyard and went to the front yard instead and start throwing things into our house and neighbor's house. My father wanted to go out, but i insisted that he stay inside the house as I am afraid he might harm my dad. But of course my dad's main concern was that this guy will break our cars mirrors or damage our cars with the things he threw.

My brother went out from the house and to cut the long story short, with a couple neighbors, overpowered him. They shouted at him and asked him what was all the throwing for. Apparently he was looking for his wife who is sleeping with another man in house number 31 (my house number is 29 by the way).

But we can smell strong stench of alcohol and he insisted his wife is in my neighbor's house, when my neighbor knows nothing. My neighbors were all s angry, they beat him then they let him go.

Then he walked off and still wandering around my street, mumbling and apparently still looking for his wife. My family and neighbors all stood there for about 1/2 hour after that on the streets just observing him and see what he will do. Soon enough, he disappeared and we have no idea where he is.

From what we gathered, apparently he created havoc at the "jalan" before my "jalan" too. And he climbed many people's house backyard ( my house as well ).

It was seriously traumatic. He threw metal rod into my house backyard. Dad's car also suffered scratches as he threw plastic pots into my house with all the muds.

Whole commotion ended by 5 a.m.

Through out the whole time, I was really hanging on to God and praying hard.

I can't praise God enough for a couple of things.

1. He protected everyone. No one was injured.

2. None of the windows and anyone's car was damaged.

3. For the spirit of oneness among my neighbors.

- This is heart warming when you see, how everyone come together and stood together through out the ordeal. They watched over each other's back and everyone is asking everyone if everyone is ok irregardless of everyone's race and background. (hehe, i love the rhyme)

My heart was still pounding when I go to sleep and until now, I can still feel the fear, but what made me slept well last night was this verses that kept ringing in my mind. I kept reciting it until I fall asleep. :) Thank you Lord.

Psalms 121:

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

One Last Cry

2010-12-06T16:50:00.000+08:00

Raindrops + emo song = mellow and emo mood. :) Here i present - One Last Cry by Brian McKnight.

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry

Cry......
I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....

I’m gonna dry my eyesRight after I had my
One last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down...
To my last cry...

Oh on another note, here you go for the picture of the pig that i promised!

December the 1st

2010-12-01T13:24:00.000+08:00

Haiz everyone. Sorry for not updating.

Here is a note to thank all who wished me on my birthday. :) This birthday celebration was more quiet and peaceful. In fact i think it was one of the best birthday i ever had. So many touching incidents for this time.

a) Miss Chin Pei Ling who bothered to organise the very 1st birthday party in 21st century and asked people like Christine, Weng Keet and Calvin along. ( and oh, it was a joint birthday celebration with Christine!). One thing about Miss Chin Pei Ling, she never failed to remember my birthday. Every year, small or big, she definitely will celebrate with me. She is such a lovely sister that I can't stop thanking God for her presence in my life. :)

b) On the day of my birthday, i celebrated in Kepong together with my cousins. My cousin Suet Cheng was more than eager to have me there. Her excitement when she knew I am comin make me feel so loved. It was very sweet of Suet Mei who insisted that I go to Kepong though she lost some precious hours of studying for her SPM because of me.

c) My serious face Uncle who is a primary school "penolong kanan of guru besar" ( just to let u imagine how serious he can be ) actually sang for me loud and clear birthday song. Sucha gesture from him is so touching.

d) On the night of fellowship dinner, Mr Chin Liang gave me a self made pig from tissues and balloon. I knew that it required alot of efforts into it and time. I am also touched that he actually take my word to heart when i said i wanted that self made pig and jokingly asked him to make me one. Pictures on that lovely pig later!

e) My boss a.k.a lecturer Dr Chang actually knew it was my birthday and he wished me. So touched. Simple gesture that is much appreciated from a good boss!

f) Miss Lau Cheng Cheng who actually called from Rusia just to wish me.

I am tearing up just thinkin of all these.All these only serve to remind me how warmed I am and how well loved I am. I am blessed. Blessed with good family, friends and assembly. I can't thank God enough. I just don't deserve all these.

THANK YOU LORD.

Happy December everyone. May this month be a fruitful and blessed month! :)

Some thoughts.

2010-11-16T16:40:00.000+08:00

In our lives, im sure all of us have people whom we are close to.

You know, people that you always hang out with.

People that you find when you are in need of advice.

People that you always buy things for and all.

It's what we call our "inner circle" of friends.

They make us feel warm and that we belonged somewhere.

But..

There are certain times in life, when you want to be close to someone,

But that someone just never accept it, probably due to some issues of past or maybe that person is prejudiced for some reasons.

It can be pretty crushing you know.

To be judged for your past and not for who you are.

Guess some stains can never be clean.

But let me tell you this,

Just because someone does not make you their priority list, it does not mean that you have to stop making them your priority.

Keep trying. The Lord was rejected time and time, He endured it all. No servant is greater than the Master.

A new month.

2010-11-02T18:02:00.000+08:00

Well November is here!

Each new month that comes always remind me that, the Lord had just granted me another month of life to make a difference on Earth.

It's almost the sunset of 2010, 2011 is beckoning at the horizon.

It's been a year of DECISIONS to me. And this year, am glad to say, change me in so many ways.

Many ups such as my internship, my graduation, my commencement of Masters studies, working, and went to Sabah.

The down side, my dad's admission to hospital and many others that are too private to mentioned that are tough, wonderful and humbling lessons from the Lord.

But u noe, i think what i carry in my memories are less of events and happenings.

What remains in my small tiny finite brains are footprints that people leave in my heart.

The things my loved ones said, the laughters, the encouragement, the rebuke.

Many had make a difference in my life. This month as i step into 22nd year of my life, i wanna thank each of u for the wonderful footprints u left in my heart. U know who u r.

I believe

2010-10-17T18:19:00.000+08:00

I believe for every drop of rain that falls,
A flower grows,
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night,
A candle glows.
I believe for everyone who goes astray,
Someone will come to show the way.
I believe,
I believe.

I believe above the storm the smallest prayer,
Will still be heard.
I believe that someone in the great somewhere,
Hears every word.
Every time I hear a new born baby cry,
Or touch a leaf or see the sky.
Then I know why,
I believe.

Every time I hear a new born baby cry,
Or touch a leaf or see the sky.
Then I know why,
I believe.

THIS IS A SONG THAT I HEARD AND IT RINGS SO TRUE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. SINGER OF THIS SONG IS CONNIE TALBOT, A YOUNG KID WHO IS A RARE GEM IN D WORLD OF SINGING.

LORD, I BELIEVE....

Multitasking

2010-10-07T10:04:00.000+08:00

I was on FB on Tuesday and my friend, Miss CPL tagged me on a note about multitasking. Thanks a bunch. I was truly humbled by the note and how much my life is affected by multitasking.

I have always pride myself as a good multitasker n im sure many of you feel the same way. After all, how can we not multitask in this fast pace world right?

Like listening to songs + doin assignments + chatting on phone/messenger/fb or sms.

When im online, i will be on google finding infos + reading + chatting + updating FB + downloading things + check mail. I think i open at least 3 tabs each time im online.

At home, i will be reading book/newspaper/eating + sms + watching TV + talking to family members.

Even when waiting for train/bus/my dad to fetch me, i def will read + sms + listen to music.

Well, i can go on and on how one can multitask, but that is not the point. What struck me when i examine my own life is how much multitasking can affect one's life to the extend that it make our life so shallow and meaningless.

My heart is never where my body is. I am always thinking about doing something else and ever restless, ever rushing and ever thinking where I am headed next.

I often write with short forms even when i don't need to because it saves time. ( cheryl jie is gonna jump in agreement to this, i know. :D )

I want to finish all my work as soon as possible and i try to do more than 1 work at the time to be efficient but in the end, trust me, i take double the time and the quality is half as good.

You know, it can even sap into how I relate to God and people.

I read as many books as i can regarding Christianity in a go, i read the Bible in a chunk and keeping prayers, all at the same time. When I am praying, sometimes, I am not really there.

I realised that i also multitask when it comes to loved ones around me. I try to keep in touch with all and chat with all and keepin updated with all. Facebook of course make this much easier. But at the end of the day, other than the shallowness of knowing the basic stuffs, do i really know what is going on in their lives? Do i really listen and take to heart what they tell me?

I am humbled. I no longer want to be a multitasker.

For a start, I want to learn to read small portion of Bible and really concentrate on it.

When I talk to people, I want to do nothing but talking and listening to them. I will put my phone aside and not let my mind wander. I want to concentrate on building relationships and not mere shallow relationships.

I will do my assignment one at a time.

I will do away with my earphone while I am reading.

I will read and think through what i read. I don't care if I am finishing the book slow.

As Paul put it, I am going to put it into practise - WORK AT EVERYTHING WITH ALL YOUR HEART AS WORKING UNTO THE LORD.

I will take the challenge from Jim Elliot - TO BE 100% WHERE I REALLY AM.

P/s - Cheryl Jie, i shall write my blog in full words now. No more shortcuts.:D

HAIZ

2010-10-05T12:21:00.001+08:00

Hurm....Not doing enough.

Been stung by the bee of laziness.

Suetnie, move move!!! Keep going!!!!!!

Little things in life

2010-09-14T13:35:00.000+08:00

As I sit here and write, i can't help but to thx God for such a blessed life. Aunt Kim's lesson for the Sunday School children about thxfulness stuck in my mind. ( Yup, as i serve, even i am reminded of many things, such is the wonder of God's service ).

I admit,i dun have the most happening life. Im not a girl who turns head around and some1 that every1 will go hoohaa over...I may not be smart, I may not be rich, I may have the most boring life you can ever imagine.

But yet, I will not trade my life for anyone's life because....

1. I know a God who will never leave me, who accepts me as I am and love me so much that His grace is all sufficient.

2. I have the coolest daddy and mummy in the world. They understand me, completely support me, listen to me, and care for me the best way they could. They had always been such pillar of strength, and someone that I run to in times of need, and they think the world of their daughter though I dun deserve it as I am not the best daughter in the world.

3. I have two brothers who are very unique in their own way. One never hesitate to drive me anywhere as long as he can. Another one never hesitate to borrow me money should I need it. They care for me in their own subtle ways. Love them so much.

4. I have a great assembly of Christians who in everyway showed that they cared, prayed and loved me much as I don't deserve their love. People who cared dearly for me is too many to tell here. But they are always deep in my heart. Aunt Kim, Weng Keet, Pei Ling, Pei Yee, Suguna, Cheryl Jie, Guna Kor, they are some of the dear ones that cross my mind now.

5. I have friends who don't mind even if I don't keep in touch with them and yet when I see them, we can talk as though there is no end to the conversation. Miss Hui Hsien and Cheng Cheng are just some of the examples. Not to mention people like Joann Lee, Yik Ling, Valene Lam, Xian Shi and Kirsten.

6. I have coursemates who turned out to be my best buddies. Vaani, Kogi, Anne Cheah, Leesan Chong, Jingjing Liew especially left a deep footprints in my heart. They shared laughters, moments of distress and even till now, the friendship never end.

5. I may not be the smart, but by God's grace, I am now takin Masters in UKM. It took me overall fees of about RM 17,000 since my Form 6 to reach this stage. How can I thx God enough for the privilege to do this. Only by His grace that I am where I am.

6. I am such a blur girl, but in His amazing wonder and providence, my supervisor in university, Kak Gee, looked to me and she is happy with my progress. Her encouragement spoke volumes to my heart and I am so thxful for her guidance. She is the best that I can ask for a supervisor.

7. Since I started Masters, I have been offered a job as research assistant by Dr Chang who gave me chance to work on project basis and he had been such an understanding employer. I learnt so much in the process of working. Oh D Lord's wonderful provision. :D

8. Kak Gee has offered me to work with her on contract basic. But things will only be confirmed after raya break. But the fact that she even think about making me her research assistant make me feel so privileged.

9. I have wonderful coursemates for Masters. People like Jo Hou and Anatta Lee ( Facebook names, LOL ) had been so hounded by me but they never complained and they always helped me whenever I have any questions or enquiries. They are so cute and humorous in their own ways that I am so grateful that they are taking Masters. Not to mention Zee and Emy and Krish whom im so comfortable with and inspired me with their hardworking attitude and maturity.

10. I knew so many new friends recently who are takin Masters with me. They are ALL nice people and wonderful people to talk to. Their humble attitude and their jovial ways though they have such vast experience working or they are PhD students taught me alot.

11. I may not be the pretty girl and I may not be good in dressing up or make up, but I have God and people who love me just the way I am and I look just fine in their eyes. :)

I can write on and on.....But I will stop here and sum it only wit three words....

THANK YOU LORD

If Only

2010-09-07T13:12:00.001+08:00

10th grade - As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called "best friend".
I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her.
She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade - The phone rang. On the other end, it was her.
She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year - The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did.
Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it.
Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day - A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later - Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now.
I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!".
She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral - Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend".
At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!
`I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

P/s - just an amusing note tt i got from my fren's FB. :) Hope u enjoyed it.

Dear you...

2010-09-06T09:48:00.000+08:00

Dear you,

I noe how sum times,
Life can seems 2 go down hill,
Even wit d Lord's hands,
We frail humans feel tired of d struggles in tis world.

Needless 4 me 2 tell u,
How d Lord is Almighty, All Sufficient,
It is my prayer tt u'll find rest in Him in times lik these...

Even s sumtimes u might tink u r insignificant,
Sumtimes u feel tt u r replacable,
I wanna tell u tis...

From the heart,
U r nt replacable in my heart.
Bcos u r unique, d one n only,
tt d Lord had created tis way.

D way u smile, ur laughter,
Ur passion s u play d piano,
D way u care subtly n easily,
Ur unpretentious ways...

D memories we shared, may not seems much 2 u,
But i can't tell u how immensely im grateful for u.

U had been a dear sister in Christ,
But most importantly, thx u...
For bein u...

*hugs*

1st September

2010-09-01T13:20:00.000+08:00

A new month...

A new start...

Dear Lord, guide me...

May tis b a good month ahead..

Oh yeah, recently addicted 2 Michael Jackson's old song, Gone Too Soon

Tragic, how it speaks about him...

"Gone Too Soon"

Like A Comet

Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky

Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow

Fading

In The Twinkling Of An Eye

Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly

And Splendidly Bright

Here One Day

Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight

On A Cloudy Afternoon

Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle

Built Upon A Sandy Beach

Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower

That Is Just Beyond Your Reach

Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse,

To Inspire, To Delight

Here One Day

Gone One Night

Like A Sunset

Dying With The Rising Of The Moon

Gone Too Soon

Time reali flies...

Anyone can b here, gone tmrw..

Appreciate Your Loved Ones..

wat does independence day mean 2 me...

2010-08-30T12:43:00.000+08:00

Tmrw is National Day. National Day do mean alot 2 me other than d fact tt it is a public holiday....

I rem last 2 yrs, i went 2 Universiti Utara Malaysia 4 debat perpaduan and durin 1 of d free time, they showed tis movie called Hati Malaya 1957. I cried watchin tt show, bcos it reli touches my heart. D struggles of independence by the heroes of our countries.

However i noe, learnin history can sumtimes b fabricated, 4getting sum ppl tt's important in d process..Mayb not everyone who contributed 2 d country's independence was acknowledged n sum mayb 4gotten by history. Bcos i noe independence is not d effort of one person. But a group of unsung heroes who cared enough 2 make a difference.

I reali thx all these warriors 4 setting us free from imperialism. Whether d ones mentioned alwiz lik Tunku Abdul Rahman, Tan Cheng Lock, Onn Jaafar, Tun Sambathan or those tt was nv mentioned. Thx u. It is 4 wat u fought, tt i can live in such a beautiful country n b called citizen of Malaysia.

Yes..I admit our country is nt perfect, far from it in fact. many things still need 2 b improved especially wen it comes 2 d security, d life of those livin in poverty, racism, public transportation, political issues n many others. But i noe, slowly but surely, no matter hw small d step is, we surely r movin 4ward.

Im glad 2 b in tis country, where i can make frens wit any1 frm any race n nt find it sumthin mind blowin. Im glad 2 maintain my identity s a Chinese, yet in every way, proud 2 speak english n Malay.

Tis country is free from natural disasters such as earthquakes, volcanoes n all.

We r one of d most developed 3rd World couuntry.

We hav great variety of food. Try askin ppl who go overseas 4 sumtime lik Suguna or Abg Sly or Cheng Cheng. They def can und tis.

Im glad bcos im given a proper chance 2 education here eventhough im not rich. Education is affordable here. Im proud 2 b a UKM public university student, though of cos, it is not without its flaw.

Im 22 tis yr. It means d next election i can vote 2 make my voice heard. Im not passionate politically wit all d back biting, gossips n trivial matters. But i noe it is d responsiblity i mz hav s a citizen 2 b alert on wat is goin on n make d rite vote though it may oni b 1 vote.

I don't want 2 disappoint d leaders of past. Most importantly, i abide by d rule of tis country bcos of the Number 1 principle in Rukunegara : Kepercayaan Kpd Tuhan

Dear Lord, thx U so much 4 givin us tis wonderful country, n all tt is in it. Thx U tt im part of tis nation.I pray 4 d leaders of tis countries tt they will b able 2 rule wisely n use all resources wisely given 2 them from You. I noe You made them leaders 4 a reason n i pray n ask tt U will help me 2 respect d authorities n obey s long s it is in Your will. Protect d nations n may Your blessings continue. Pray also 4 all d uprising leaders in mouldin nw, tt U will guide all of us 2 b proper citizen of Malaysia.

Praying hard

2010-08-25T12:15:00.000+08:00

My daddy will b in Institut Jantung Negara 2day until Friday.

Have 2 go thru heart operation in order to put a defribilator in his heart so tt if he has a case of sudden heart attack, d defribilator will trigger back d electrical impulse in order 2 restart d heart.

He hav 2 do tis operation bcos doc said tt his ECG readin is irregular n aft tt they discovered tt his heart muscles are weakenin n sum are even dying.He cld hav sudden death if he dun do it.

It's simple operation, oni 2 hrs. But heart aches bcos in my life, tis is d 1st time sum1 so dear 2 me hav 2 do a major surgery....:(

Prayin hard tt daddy will b ok. Missin him already....

Dear Lord

2010-08-24T13:01:00.000+08:00

D Lord God Almighty who carried me thru d difficult times, can help me thru tis time oso. Grant me a childlike faith.

Bcos God is sovereign over all n i noe me being on bended knees, can do so much more than my feeble hands tryin 2 control things beyond my power.

But Oh Lord, help me 2 believe n help me 2 c tt U will do jz wat U said. Help me in my unbelief.

All pics courtesy of Google. :)

This may sound cheesy, but......

2010-08-23T10:14:00.000+08:00

Hey u...

Receiving a bookmark frm u yest n readin d simple msg, u dunno how much it reli warmed my heart. D words u wrote, touched me s i noe u cared...

Then i recalled back our frenship over the yrs...I remembered knowin u thru Ling. U were alwiz so serious lookin n intimidatin.

Then wen i came 2 church, we were in d same class. Found u to b such a quiet person n very dilligent. I stil rem hw my 1st impression on u was tt this girl is so hardworkin s i heard bout hw smart u r n all frm Ling *trust me, she looked up to u.hoho*

N due 2 sum incident, *let's nt mention it here, :P * u were angry wit me. So i was afraid 2 even go near u. :P

Then lo n behold, our frenship sparkle started wen u msged me 4 d very 1st time bcos we had similar issue back then...*tt was lik yrs n yrs ago wen we were bot in YP.*

Over d yrs, i seen u struggle thru things, u shared wit me so many things n i had privilege 2 noe many things first hand frm u, n 4 tt im so grateful wit d trust. :)

U were such strong lady wen goin thru so many things - a testimony 2 me tt God's strength is sufficient...

Wen i was down 2 d pit, u were there, not emo-ing wit me but more lik a companion who prayed 4 me, who cared 4 me, stand by my side. N i rem wen u came over n said, "here is a gift 4 u 2 cheer u up".

U r nt a girl of much words, which is y i noe tt everythin u did, it came frm ur heart.

Thx 4 bein such a great sis. I thx d Lord for u r indeed a gift frm Him 2 me.
Over d yrs, u had been so faithful 2 Him n seeing tt u r movin in2 a new phase of ur workin life excites me very much. N here, frm my heart, i pray tt d Lord will keep u faithful 2 Him all thru ur life.

I love uuuuu~~~

P/s - jz 2 steal ur line - this may sound cheesy but NOOO!!:)

Dear you....

2010-08-17T14:13:00.000+08:00

Dear you....

today i was talkin to our old collegue in Traxx n i was askin him bout the new intern. Apparently d new intern is bein very quiet, ntg much n jz doin her work...

i was flabbergasted s i wondered, how can it be?????she is missin all d fun in Traxx...

Then i realised sumthin....

Tt ur presence made a world of difference...

U noe u cld hav been a nitemare, terrible, horrible experience of mine, but u were every bit d opposite...

U cld hav been very "kiasu" alwiz "rebut" work wit me. But nop. U complemented me n worked 2gether n alongside wit me, helpin me wen i need help...givin opinions n nv criticising...

Or very lazy while i do all d work, but nop, u alwiz ask if i need help n initiated work...

U cld hav been very stuck up n hav mood swings, but nop...every mornin i reach office, u will smile *albeit d sleepy look :P* n u were very trustin wit me - a privilege indeed.

U cld hav been uncarin n selfish, but u walked wit me in rain, made police report wit me, teman me everywhere, listened 2 me *blab n blab n blab all da time, how u stand me is a mystery* n shared everythin wit me, never once holdin back...

U made my internship days a blast n a whole lot of difference.

U r a great fren n i can't tell how much im indebted for d good times we had.

I thx God for u~

I love n miss ya~~~

P/s - last emo post from me ok! dun wish for more. :P now blah~

SELF CENTEREDNESS

2010-07-29T13:25:00.000+08:00

D world encourage us 2 b self centered...Even technologies...

It is all bout me me me.

My facebook status whereby i tell d world wat i feel n wat im up to...

My blog where it's all bout me n wat i tink..

We r taught to get our personal identity in tis world. We r taught 2 b outstandin in our own ways....

We r taught to love ourselves above all...

I am guilty s charged. In fact, i tink im one of the avid follower of tis thing called - SELFISHNESS.

It's time 2 stop tis. U noe y?

Because...s we dance d dance in d stage of d world, d moment u stop performin, d world will jz boo u off d stage. There is no point pleasin d world.

D Lord, is d One audience, who will nv stop watchin us s we perform in tis world. In fact He have d best dance He 1 us 2 dance. He 1 us 2 dance accordin 2 His ways, oni bcos He noes wat is d best 4 us.

N He love us best wen we r nt performing...

We dun hav 2 focus on hw ppl look at our dance, we dun hav 2 noe whether we r wearin d rite costume, d rite mask or anythin...Our dance shd b a musing frm heart, out of worship for D Lord. n He will nv boo us. He wil teach n guide us...

When our feet hurts frm dancin, n we dun und His choreography, we noe He will guide slowly...but surely....

N u noe y u dun hav 2 b self centered? bcos d world stage is so big tt ever1 can earn his or her spot...u dun need 2 b in d limelight all da time...

Jz dance ur heart out for d Lord.

FINALLY~~

2010-07-19T22:46:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone.

I am so sorry tt i haven been updatin tis blog for so long. In a way i tink it is more or less a dead blog. LOL. Malas la.

Anyway, lemme story2 to all of u wat happened since my internship.

Well, i had a great time at TraxxFM, learnin all tt i cld in tt 2 mths. It was a great learnin opportunities. I can't thank d Lord enough for His help n blessing thru out tt 2 mths of internship.

Special thx 2 Kak Mareaty, Kak Linda, Mad, Otto n Eric who made my days s well s taught me alot in every aspects as well as to the faithful DJs who r ever frenly lik Roundhead, Double DD, Priscilla, Mary, Fadhil. It was great tt all of u nv treated me s a mere intern, but u all oso treat me s sum1 who u guys can make fun n talk 2. Thx alot....

Kak Mareaty 4 ur smile, sincerity n humor.

Kak Linda for ur singin n bubbly attitude. S well s 4 times of fetchin me thru n forth work.

Mad for lettin me d chance to work along wit u n so patiently teachin tis slow girl...

Otto for teachin me n guidin me thru all the editin n time spent in bilik mayat....

Eric for his funny humor.

N for one who was there wit me frm beginning....my darlin Sangeetha who listened 2 me n shared so much wit me....thx u so much 4 bein such a dear fren. I went to intern n got myself a great fren...i miss u........

Jing2 my darlin, who shared laughters wit me.....every mornin n nite....who was there 4 me....n carin n lovin me....

Vaani n Kogi for bein my lunch partner s well s findin me d place 2 stay...i owe u guys millions for tskin care of me....N Kogi, thx 4 d talk we had tt Fri wen all of them were nt there. i reli enjoyed it. :P

Guna kor, for tirelessly fetchin me all da time....im touched n indebted in every way....

So ever since aft my internhsip wat reli happened 2 me?.... ALOT...

But suffice 2 say tt im nw back 2 ukm for Masters studies n doin ok there but bit busy. Update u guys more next time alright...:)

Growin up.:)

2010-05-15T10:52:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone...

Alot of things happened since d last time i updated my blog. To keep d story simple, i shall tell all of u d key points.

1. I completed my thesis on Michael Jackson n passed it up. My dearly beloved supervisor told me tt she will love 2 publish my work in2 jurnals. Flying high s it was a great compliments s undergraduate's work hardly get published.

2. Had difficulty findin hse 4 my internship, but in d end landed a room in Pantai Dlm wit Jing Jing s my roommate. It's been great stayin wit her. :)

3. Went for my final exam n well, it wasn't 2 bad...

4. Started my internship on 3rd of May in TraxxFM.

5. Now it is d end of my 2nd week at internship. So far I have done
a) ALOT of paperworks n makin schedules for them.
b) CALLIN alot of winners to inform them regarding their prizes n stuffs as well as hotel managers.
c) PSA - i did 5 capsules on sugars, wesak day ads as well as career carnival. So basically my jobs here revolved alot around doin ads...
d) Created many playlists for d DJs
e) Used my voice for a couple of PSA
f) Went back UKM for a job s well usin my voice 4 d demo product CD of fire extingusher...

It's been busy...n i miss alot of ppl...:) Suguna, Suet Mei, Suet Cheng, Kirsten, my debate gangs...gosh....wil catch wit u all soon...till then..tk cr...:)

S.E.R.E.N.I.T.Y

2010-02-22T23:19:00.000+08:00

2 years plus in ukm has taught me so much. Changed me alot in fact. The people i met, the things i went thru, the tears n sorrow, the lessons i learnt.

And now, here i stand, on my very final semester. Another cross road, another path to take very soon. Where to go for my internship and after that, wat will i do after graduating from degree? I do have things in my mind, but, who noe wat will happen tmrw right? But many songs just keep playing in my mind as i hang on to tis uncertainty...

Like....

Many things about tmrw,
I dun seems to und,
But I noe who holds tmrw and
I noe who holds my hands.

And...

Higher hands are leading me,
I am not afraid i know,
As i walk this world below,
For higher hands are leading me.

And....

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When don't see his plan
When you can't trace his hand
Trust His Heart

He sees the master plan
He holds the future in his hand,
Don't live as those who have no hope,
While our hope is found in him.
We see the present clearly
But he sees the first and last
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me,
To someday be just like him

He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you

The Lord's plan is indeed better and higher...
Though sumtimes i may not understand y God do certain things..
But all i noe, i can trust Him to guide me in every step of my life...
Wretched as i am...unfaithful as i am....

If we are faithless, God is faithful,
For He can't deny Himself.

Indeed, i have tasted and see that the Lord is good.

He lead me...He lead me...As a dear Shepherd who cares for His flock....

He healed my wounds and wiped away my tears....

Though sumtimes i may not see it...

Each climb to broga hill reminded me of tis. Wen i was without torchlight wen i climbed tt hill b4 sunrise,in d dark, i was reminded how often in life, i walked in darkness, yet d Lord is rite beside me thru every potholes and dangers.

Yea thru d shadow of d valley of death,
I shall not fear any harm,
Thy road and thy staff,
They comfort me, And
You will not leave me alone

Wen i bring torch light for the climb, i was reminded that sumtimes, He shone lights in my life, but only sufficient just to see the immediate next step.

And now, here i am in another phase...

Another chance to grow further in Him...

Such blessed assurance, that Lord Jesus is mine in my walk of life,
Oh wat a foretaste of glory divine...

Though i have so far to go in bein Christlike, yet...
I know the Lord will finish the good work He started to completion.

Lord, thx u because...

So far, it's been so good so far,
Thru all the joys and scars,
You won the battle in my heart.
I long for wat u have in store,
Another open door, should i stay here or look for more?

So far, You brought me,
So far, You taught me,
So far, that everythin i need You are,
N nw, another turn 2 take,
Another choice to make,
I can't believe we come so far..

U said the fight has just begun,
And yet the battle's won,
By trustin in ur Holy Son.
You know the plans You have for me,
I am tryin to believe,
But my eyes can only see so far..

Dear Father, may all those who comes behind me finds me faithful to You,
As that is the only thing i can do for you..So little to repay Your love.

I will cont 2 run d race, i will cont 2 strive 2 grow in d Lord...

I will cling to the old rugged cross....

Thx U Lord for everythin.....
And for not leavin me alone.....

F.O.C.U.S

2010-02-09T16:35:00.000+08:00

hey ppl....haven got time 2 keep updated...jz here 2 say happy valentine 2 all of u...i love u all...tk good cr till i write a longer post~

L.O.V.E

2010-02-01T10:03:00.000+08:00

Recently,i been reli frustrated bcos my ptptn loan is not in..facin financial prob n it is at tis time tt my laptop hav to gimme prob after 2 years plus of followin me...wit d work i gotta do,rushin lik mad bcos i use uni's computer lab tt closes at 5 pm..n stayin in d studio d whole day often time gimme a very depressed mood..

Each time i go back hostel at nite, i feel so...lonely and memang down lama-lama ok...

Then bcos of financial constraint n oso time constraint, i been out of touch wit my buddies s well s church mates...even more frust...

Feel out of place wit frens...FRUST...

N im so caught up wit my own prob, i seems to be so selfish n hardly hav time for others...Lagi Lagi Frust...

N can't b back home 2 b wit mum though i noe she's alone at home most days...LAGI FRUST...

Knowin my family n frens got prob, but can't help....DOWN DOWN DOWN...

SO

Suffice 2 say, my mood hasn't been good le..hehehe...

But...I learned so much n can't b more grateful....

*though my loan gimme prob, i hav a wonderful family tt i cn rely on...my 2nd bro,who is nt a very expressiv type of ppl, been supportin me...i feel his love though there isn't much said between us...

*tt im brought up in a not-so-rich family, it shaped me up to b a more mature person n knowin how hard money is earned...yet nv once since my young day, did i go hungry, did i go without clothes n things...bcos i hav dad n mum who will do all they cn 2 provide 4 me..

n dad jz reassured me tis mornin, "dun wori, dad will do my best ok..u jz do wat u need 2 do n leave d rest 2 me"...i...i reli can't say hw much i love my parent though they hav their flaws...they ALWIZ supported me in all i do, they ALWIZ understand....

*tt my laptop spoilt oni by now...it has been servin me faithfully for 2 yrs plus without hassle..it oni start givin probs nw on my last sem, D LEAST BUSY sem of all sems ok...

*tt bcos my laptop gav me prob, i learn 2 b more efficient in my work, i learnt 2 cut down unnnecessary online time, i learnt hw 2 reformat my laptop myself, i learnt hw 2 detect probs of laptop.

*tt i noe miss peiling n suguna offered me their laptop...d kindness...gosh...

*tt wen im lonely, it is then i feel God teachin me so much 2 rely on Him n remindin me tt im here 2 serve n not 2 b served...

*tt wen im lonely n feel out of place, God make me stronger...

*tt though im selfish, though im so weak, though im so wretched,God stil dun giv up on me, n tryin mold me 2 b more lik Christ...God, wat am i tt u r so mindful of me?

*tt i noe miss suguna cn turn my emo time 2 d most hilarious statement...LOL

So u c..things r nt so bad after all~~Good monday~~

Count ur blessings,
Name them one by one,
Count ur blessings,
C wat God has done,
Count ur blessings,
Name them one by one,
N it wil suprised u wat d Lord had done...

H.E.A.R.T.A.C.H.E

2010-01-27T00:59:00.000+08:00

Someone to just borrow a shoulder for me to cry on....

Anybody?

:)

I'll be ok...just need pampering...

Life Without FB

2010-01-19T09:05:00.000+08:00

Had to go without FB for a week..Tot i will b like tis....

But u noe wat, in d end...

+ It reli feels good +
+ life in real world is indeed. +
+ so much better +
+ thx U Lord +

Had A Bad Day

2010-01-13T08:02:00.001+08:00

Suffice 2 say....
I had a bad day yesterday wit so many things not goin rite..
But oh well...

Yup...im an optimist hamster! One day at a time. Today?

Assignment mode on! Thx Baby Google for all these images~~

Good old days.

2010-01-11T11:49:00.001+08:00

My good old day in Kajang High School in Punjabi Suit. But i can't recall much of it. Just rem i was tellin a sajak for National Day. Miss those days wen i used to tell sajak.

Gettin older?....yeeeppp.....it's been 3 yrs since i left High School.

Time goes on n on, n before i noe it, nw im gonna grad from uni n face another cross road of my life.

Thx U Lord for bein faithful all these yrs.

Dedicated 2 u!

2010-01-07T15:08:00.000+08:00

Today i opened up my FB acc n someone actually popped up to say hi. She reali made my day! Tis person is none other than miss lau cheng cheng.

She is a friend whom i know since standard 5. Longest survivin friendship because i dun tink i still keep in touch wit any of my frens from my standard 1-3 year.

I stil recall my very 1st day in Std 5. I was lost n terrified not knowin anyone since i jumped PTS. I almost cried that mornin wen everyone gave me d what-is-tis-girl-doin-in-our-class look. I ended up sittin besid tis girl whom i tot was a malay bcos she was more on d tanned skin side *hitam manis ok* Then the teacher called out d attendance n lo n behold d girl next to me is called lau cheng cheng. Everyone includin d teacher was puzzled. Only then we knew she is of a mixed parentage, hence d skin color.

N that was d very beginnin of our beautiful frenship. We played together n stick 2gether wit each other. My very 1st school trip was wit her too! Check out how cute we were durin our young days. *nt tt we r old nw, haha*

We went swimmin 2gether, library. We were reali good girl alright. :D

We lost touched after Form 1 because we went to different school, but i always tell people bout tis best fren i had in primary. We bumped into each other once in awhile n we tried keepin in touch, but it was difficult s we dun hav handphones or internet line back then *kids these days r so fortunate*

Then..finally after years, we found each other thru Facebook n we even met up once. She hasnt changed much over the yrs. Stil the same old sweet Cheng Cheng i always known. But, of course, we grown more mature. S we sat down n chatted in McD, it was s if we never lost touch over d yrs n we can talk bout anythin.

You know what is d most beautiful thing of all?...I discovered she believed in Lord Jesus Christ s i did n tt make d bond even stronger s we serve d same Lord n s we share common view on things.

Trust me, she and i r so different in personalities, background, d path we r pursuing, but d bond is stil there.

Cheng cheng, cheers 4 our frenship tt had survived all d lost communication, difference n time. I love u babe.

Kadang Kala

2010-01-05T14:16:00.000+08:00

Kadang-kala, kita sebagai manusia, kita cuba untuk membuatkan semua orang untuk menyukai siapa kita dan menghargai diri kita. Kadang kala, kita cuba untuk menjadi antara mereka yang popular. Kadang-kala kita tidak meminta pun untuk menjadi popular, setakat untuk menjadi salah seorang daripada sesebuah kumpulan. Mengikut pensyarah aku, itu dipanggil esprit de core *sense of belonging/ semangat kekitaan*

Tapi, kita kadang-kala alpa... untuk menghargai mereka yang menghargai kita kerana kita cuba untuk memuaskan hati mereka yang hanya menggunakan kita. Kita kadang-kala tidak sedar bahawa insan terbaik berada di hadapan mata kita sahaja. Kita kadang-kala mengorbankan apa yang tidak patut dan melakukan apa yang tidak patut untuk menjadi sebahagian daripada kumpulan gempak.

Kita ampu mereka. Kita habiskan masa berbuat apa sahaja untuk mereka. Kita bergelak kosong dengan mereka. Kita terkial-kial mencari mereka tatkala kita perlukan kawan.

Di dalam perjalanan itu,kawan sejati kita tinggalkan.(Ah lah, tak free r. Aku nak keluar dengan orang lain.) Papa dan mama kita tinggalkan.(mama,i nak keluar dengan dia. Kerja rumah nanti la saya buat. Ayah, i nak duit untuk makan dengan kawan)

Di akhir hari, kita akan sedar bahawa apabila kawan-kawan gempak ini tinggalkan kita, meminggirkan kita, aniaya kita, pijak kita demi kepentingan dia...

Siapa yang akan datang untuk membantu kita...

Keluarga yang kita ambil ringan dan tengking. Kawan yang sedih bila kita tidak mencari dia namun tetap ada untuk kita.

Gelak tawa itu penting. Tidak salah untuk kita berkawan dengan semua orang, tidak salah untuk kita membantu semua orang, tetapi...di tahun baru ini..ingatlah siapa yang benar-benar penting di dalam hidup kita. Hargailah keluarga dan kawan tersayang.

Finally..

2010-01-04T13:19:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone...for those who tink my blog is dead *note to hui hsien* i finally revive it. Just don't really have the mood to sit down n type wat i tink and anyhow, being me, i dun tink any1 is interested in wat i have to say...

Anyway, it is d 4th of Jan n i had a blast 4 d last few days of my 2009 n first few days of my 2010.

Closing of 2009 - went Kirsten's house for Kane's bday. Good time catchin wit amir, natasha, Szeping n Kirsten
- went out wit Miss Chikwan, Huihsien, Szeping, Xianshi n Miss Chingyee *so glad to c her,haven met since we left high school! Not lik i wasn't glad to c d rest of u guys, LOL*

1st Jan- spent my 12 am in church wit church member, went home n spent time wit mum till 3 am. Then woke up at 5 am to go hikin in broga hill wit my church mates n Suguna's frens. Then went bowling. Hehe. Loved my new yr

2nd Jan - Went for my first swim in kajang hill golf club wit miss suguna n aunty kim. Then by 2 pm, went out wit miss ellice, miss phoebe, miss suguna *again miss suguna* n mr jupe to my 1st in ikea, early dinner in ikea n then my 1st 3D movie *avatar*

3rd Jan - marked the start of sun school for this year. So glad to c those faces back n yup, my 1st visit to one of the children's home too. Glad to chat wit one of d kids mum but kinda feel sad bcos her life is tough - will keep prayin for her.

4th Jan - back in uni. Sigh. My time in UKM is numbered.

Hurm...everyone been writin bout new year resolution. It's such a hype durin the beginnin of the year. Im nt goin to bore u wit my resolution but just to give u a piece of my mind bout new year resolution.

1. The common resolutions of so many people will be - to spend more time with loved ones, to lose weight n to excel in their work. Does it cross ur mind tt ppl do the same resolution every year bcos they always fail in achievin tis common resolutions as the year pass them? Do u hav the strength to reali make it happen tis year?

2. Is our lives all about strivin 4 more success n 4 more tis n that? Look at ur resolutions n u will notice at the core of it, that is wat matters most to you. Life doesn't consist of all play, strivin 4 more success n more weight loss. I am not sayin tt u can't make these resolutions, but mayb it's time tt we *yes, especially me* to remember that life is not ALL about that. But that life is about serving God, followin Him n walk with Him, day by day, step by step s God teach us how to live a life tt is abundant, a life tt is worth livin, n a life that is reali life. Without God, there is no life God created u n i. It is only fair tt we play accordin to His rule.

I have resolutions, and bein d next door girl, my resolutions does include those common resolutions I listed above. But I am glad, bcos, at the end of the day, I have the Guide of Life, my Lord n Savior Jesus Christ, to show me how to live life, NOT a life of just makin resolutions year after year, strivin for more n more, BUT a life that is filled wit meanin.

P/s - yes i intend to lose weight, 5 kgs - hence the physical activity of my first few days of the year. Haha. Blessed new year,all my love.

Where might you be goin to tis fine day my fren,

Of along an aimless road that soon must end,

Chasin an illusive dream tt shines so fair,

But wen found isn't there?

I can und the weary sigh my fren,

There but for the grace of God go i my fren,

He'll lead you to your journey end,

So come along n walk wit Him.

To everyone

2009-08-17T18:46:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone~~~~
Been disappearin for real long, sorry for not updatin...
My life been crazy s i had been so busy wit all d works i need to do
Neway, enough of rantin about d busyness
Im not complainin bcos seriously im enjoyin my work s well s debate.
It's cool time of bondin wit all my beloved coursemates s well s debate team n debaters from other unis.
I love all of u...

Im goin home in few more mins aft tis weekend of nt bein at home.
I miss my parents n even my bro very much...
Love them all, so can't wait 2 spend tmrw wit them~~

Im oso missin my sunday sch students n BTGC assembly...
Reali lookin 4ward 2 church tis week!!:D

I spent time wit miss lau cheng cheng for breakfast at McD d other day n it had been lotsa fun aft nt meetin her since lik...Form 1???...she hasn't changed much though, stil cute n squeaky (i noe u can't cahnge it cheng2). It's been great time n im reli lookin 4ward 2 it..

2 Mr Nazwan, all da best for tmrw final against UTP. MMU blh!! (motif support MMU)haha..
2 every1 i met durin debate comp, it was reli nice meetin all of u..hop 2 c u all soon in debat royal!!!

2009-07-22T11:36:00.000+08:00

Hurm....oh ya...juz tot i missed a few numbers of things i 4got 2 update...
i went 2 a vocal workshop wit cheryl jie over d hols n it was pretty cool...taught us d breathin skills needed 4 singin n stuff....then went n tried Wendy for the 1st time wit cheryl jie in times square after yrs of nt steppin in2 times square.hahah....

then update since d sem start...life been a lil chaotic recently 4 me...classes r pretty packed n i need 2 fit in time 2 teach tuition..can't reali fit in time 2 go out wit frens nor b at home wit family...

Prob is im havin class on thurs nite which mean i will nt b able 2 attend prayer meetin in my own assembly, btgc. feelin distressed bout tis...sigh!jz commitin d thing in2 God's hand,knowin He will sumhow work things out...been skippin YA oso for family dinner, classes n even tis sat oso gonna miss YA. Oh gosh, 3 weeks of skippin church is keepin me low.:( God work things out 4 me... N im still puttin my family camp fees on hold bcos i doubt i cn go wit tis busy sem, bt i reli dun wanna miss it...:(

Assignments for tis sem oso seems pretty heavy...im so blur bout it n yet things r movin at such a past pace tt i reli need 2 catch up wit my workload tt mount up so fast eventhough tis is jz d third week...
But im havin fun wit sum aspects on it..for example, tis sem im doin practical n im writing for the english column. i lik the column assigned 2 me as im free 2 express my opinion n it's nt exaclt jz merely tellin d facts..for those who will like 2 read my article, pls feel free 2 do so on my facebook notes...i oso wan all of u 2 give me opinions on how i cn improve my writings...
N not 2 mention d times spent wit coursemates..ppl lik jocelyn, lee peng, syidah, emy, jing2, anne, leesan, poh lee, hui er, all d nadi bangi gangs...lovin every bit of them n time spent wit them.:D

Fo my debate frens who will b participatin in comin debate competition, i wish all of u all da best, for i dun believe in luck. U guys r reli good n im sure u will make UKM proud. GO GO GO!!~~

Went out wit kirsten n miss sze ping to celeb sze ping's bday. It was a simple gatherin n shoppin in alamanda n i reali enjoyed my time wit them..nt 2 mention d things we bought...our gang actually consist of 4 persons includin me, bt sigh, miss grace is missin bcos she is in aussie at d moment. we all missed her n reli felt d missin of her presence frm d gang..

Oso went down 2 Kepong for bak kut teh wit my family n extended family (aunt n her family in kepong)... it was a cool bt exhaustin time for me s im tryin 2 b there 4 everythin at once.feel so bad i can't overnite wit my cousins in kepong despite their pleading bcos i had to attend church d next day.

Missin sum ppl too..ppl lik miss joann lee (busy hibernatin in Nilai for her exam), miss yik ling, miss valene n hui hsien (both missin in action, oversea)...reli wish i cn catch up wit them asap...miss them alot..

For those of u who were there 2 support me durin tis time - aunt kim, thiagu, jason, abg naim, lai kuan, abg sly, pei ling, kak suguna (support tt comes frm afar) n my dearest family...i love all of u...

adios for now!

Finally...

2009-07-17T14:26:00.000+08:00

hey every1, finally i have d time 2 update my fb...hehehe...

neway, jz a quick run of wat i've done since d last time i wrote...

went to unimas for d debate competition n we lost. Bt it was a reli good experience n i reli had alot of fun.:D
then after that, busy working, helpin around at home and going back uni once in awhile
then i became judge for the debate competition for school level since my debate club do not have sufficient people to be judge...(cheh, i cn even say tt d secondary students were FAR better than me...malu jadi judge)
then we welcomed in the new juniors for this year..stayed a few days n hav lotsa fun bonding wit debate team s well s new juniors.
then yup, im back in uni...past one week,been busy registering for subjects n runnin around 4 classes.
yesterday i juz went for a frenzy shopping spree wit coursemates...bought sandals, bag, lip gloss, eye liner, eye shadow, moisturizer, gifts, shirt...
n yeah, im goin for harry potter 2nite with cheryl jie, kah yeong, hwei huih!:D

this semester is going 2 b a busy ones s i'll b juggling between MENTION club, debate competition, church, studies s well s time for all my loved ones. But it's all fun i believe!:D

ok then...buhbye 4 nw...try update sumthin more detailed later.:D

DEDICATED TO BUDAK BUDAK UPU

2009-06-29T00:59:00.000+08:00

hehhee.....im gonna spend tis time to blog about my new found group of members that i reli learned 2 grow fond of thru out tis hols....let's start 1 by 1 individual...since there's alot of them,im gonna jz describe them all wit titles....muhuhuhu...

khai : the motherly one
qilah : my dearie twin
mira : the sleepy one
dayah : the cute n quiet one
suhaimi : the laughin one
abg pang: model of d yr
abg nuar : the social king
abg aria: the vogue one
black: the black one la,ape lagi
khalis: the well built one
nash: the scandalous one
farhana: the pretty one
tasha: the sweet one

muahhahaa......n im gonna spend my comin few days wit them,,,bet it's gonna b a good time wit them!!

n hey,so sorry but i actually forgotten 2 label 2 very important names s they were d ones takin reli good cr of me wen i was in sarawak. no excuse 4 me 2 4get them. so rem, jz bcos i din write bout u 1st, doesn't mean u r not important. stil very important ppl ya!!:D here's 2 .....

kak mah: the caring one
kak dah : the cute one

Memories

2009-06-10T02:20:00.000+08:00

Who is that girl i c

Starin straight back at me?

Wen will my reflection show

Who i am inside?

There is a heart tt muz b free 2 fly,

Tt burns wit d need 2 noe d reason y...

Time continue 2 fly without waitin 4 any1 like a merciless wave tt swipe everythin on its way clean. Try s i may, i can't cling on to the memories of d past. It used to be crystal clear. Every senses so attuned to it. Yet now it plays like a broken record. Blur n imperfect. It can make no justice 2 wat it reli was. Memories...how frail it is. I cling 2 it s hard s i can, but like sand that can't be held, lil by lil it fade away.

Time changed a person. A small part of me reali miss tt old part of me n d old ways of livin. Yet how long more can i cling on 2 tt old me wen my finite brain is slowly but surely 4gettin the past?

I gained n i lost wen i was forced 2 take tis path. I will never choose tis path myself. Yet bein thrown in2 tis road that im nt familiar wit, i learned so many things.

I learned that faith involves trustin God in each step, puttin one foot in front of d other.
I learned tt we cn sumwat learn 2 survive no matter wt situation we r put in n God intend it 4 good.
I learned tt personality n tots will change by time s we grow frm one stage 2 d other,
That d past us cn even b unrecognisable 2 us nw.

Thrown in2 a path i nv tk voluntarily, i can't say that im completely happy.
Yet it's oni wit tis path, d serenity n peace tt comes frm trustin d Lord 2 carry me thru will ever surface.
It's oni nw tt i learnt, there is tis side of me tt i have never seen.

God broke my leg tt i learn 2 find Him on bended knees.
God broke me tht he cn mold me in2 better n tougher stuff.

I experienced many new things, more adventurous, takin on a future tht i nv imagin i will have.
I experienced God tearin me, oni knowin later on, it hurt Him more than me,
I experienced love, enrichin love tht strengthen d bond between me n my assembly,
I experienced love frm family n frens tt goes wit unspoken words.

Indeed it's time 2 walk away frm d old past, d memories i cling on so dearly 2.

N im learnin 2 b grateful,
That God created my brain in such a way,
That i cn oni rem so much,
That i have changed n nt recognised d old me.

Wat i hav been up 2 ( Part 3)

2009-06-08T13:59:00.000+08:00

Im representin my uni for intervarsity malay debate competition in UNIMAS tis comin 12-16th of june. Tt will mark my 1st time takin flight. Hahaha....jakun i noe, tak pernah naik plane. But im proud 2 say tt my 1st trip on plane is sponsored for n i dun need pay a cent!:D recently been travellin in uni for d practise. Tis group of malay frens frm debate team r real cool ppl 2 hang out wit. Though i oni c them once a yr, they r fun 2 b wit. They r all real good debaters by d way. Can reali feel d pressure s im d weak link of d team n most of d time i went gaga went they state their points. Haha...but oh well, for d experience, it's real cool!

Yup,tt's me, busy takin pic wen ppl discussin.hahhaa....

These are our panel judges for d days, n d guy wit specs r real good wit his facts.impressive.

N here is our opposition!!!

All in all, it's been fun practisin wit them though im sure it's frustratin for them 2 have me in d team.huhuhu....will update u all bout d competition progress once im back frm it!

P/s - can u believe it, my exam result is comin out a day b4 my trip 2 sarawak. Wat a spoiler!ARGH.

Wat Have I Been Up 2 (2nd part)

2009-06-08T13:29:00.000+08:00

Went down 2 Kepong on d 28th of May 2 celebrate my cousin suet mei's birthday. She is 16 yrs old tis yr! A real dilligent n hardworkin young girl. N she sings real well oso. She is in her school choir group n recently they won d district level n she's goin johor 4 d national level tis july. Reali hope she can make it. Neway, it was a simple celebaration tt nite. I bought a cake frm Kings for her n yummy, d cappucino cake definitely taste good!

Nice leh...oh...yummy.....2 bad no Kings in Kajang

Yup tis is her makin her wish...look at tt smile!

As she made her wish, I prayed a silent prayer tt no matter wat she wish, I will wish her Jesus. For in d Lord Jesus Christ, we are complete n lackin nothin. I wish and hope tt she will one day come 2 noe d Lord s her personal Savior, Lord n most of all a Faithful Companion thru out life's big n small trials. May she find the best bday gift of all, Lord Jesus Christ.

How sweet to hold a newborn baby,

N feel d pride n joy he give,

But greater still d calm assurance,

Tis child can face uncertain day,

Bcos Christ lives.

Wat Have I Been Up 2!!

2009-06-08T12:54:00.000+08:00

On 26th i went to my uncle's hse. It's been sumtime since i last saw him. My uncle landed on a new job in langkawi n he oni come back oni once every 3 mths. I reali did miss him! He is my favourite uncle n he sayang me alot. Tt nite was a good time of catchin up with his family especially my cousins little daughter. i saw her grow up n now she's already std 4...she's stil so attached 2 me, made me felt so touched.:D neway i was fascinated wit her Barbie dolls collection. It's reali impressive!!

Looks lik real lovin couple rite???hehehe...

Handsome prince surrounded by pretty girls...ah...every guys dream ek?:P

Now tis is every girls dream....huhuhuhu

It's funny hw i nv enjoyed Barbie dolls wen i was a kid n nw im so fascinated wit it! Guess im catchin up wit sum missin childhood experiences. haha.... A great nite n i can't wait 4 my uncle 2 get back another 3 mths later!

IM BACK!!

2009-05-20T18:28:00.000+08:00

hey every1, i noe it's been reli long since i last updated my blog..

jz a rush thru of things i've done since last day of my exam...been goin karaoke-ing wit my coursemates, hangin out in Mid Valley d whole day till nite...

then i went out wit cheryl jie, thiagu, yee wen n phoebe 4 a good dinner.

then went kepong and hung out wit cousins 4 good 2 days.

went out wit bro n mum 2 tis place in ampang called Quan Ice Cream n Coffee Hse.

teachin tuition almost everyday since my student gonna hav exam. bet he feel sick c-ing my face.LOL.

been practisin singin n oso workin out 2 shed those weight..

do hse work...

n oh, recently, plannin 4 joann n timothy's farewell. im havin lotsa fun doin it.hop they'll enjoy it!
enjoyed workin along wit max n chin liang oso.:D

n now, im in old town wit miss bel n mr chen weng keet for a tea!

more plans - goin out wit yikling, then go out wit cheryl jie again, then miss shanti n yeah, a shoppin spree hopefully wit miss chikwan, sookchin, hui hsien n sze ping....
p/s- gotta cut tis short, keet complainin d. sayin im spendin 2 much time online...wahahhaa....n ya, mayb a trip out sumwhere wit miss bel...

Give me a chance pls..

2009-04-07T22:55:00.000+08:00

Things been goin pretty fine lately 4 me. Assignments r almost done. Nw only left film editin 2 do. Bt sumhow, my heart is in a mess. Been doin lotsa tinkin recently. Especially 2day..

I feel tt i've nt given my best shot in all d things i shd do. My walk wit God, assignments, commitment 2 family, bein a true fren 2 my frens n ppl in my church, my ministry n commitment s well s preparation 4 church meetings.

I haven giv my best 2 God. Nt committin all my ways 2 Him in total surrender. Im bt a lukewarm Christian. feel d pain wen God said He wanna spit out those who r lukewarm..Im a hypocrite.

Speakin of hypocrite, it reminds me of my frens. Im so judgemental n i am harsh 2 my frens wen they dun meet up my expectation or do wat a fren shd do 2 me. N 4 those who care, i took them 4 granted without carin much 4 their feelings. Though d phrase frens r meant 2 b used make me cringe, sad 2 say,i do tt sumtimes.

2 all my frens, coursemates n church members : im reli sori if u r 1 of my victim of selfishness.ironically, sumtimes, i dun even notice it. im oso sori 4 i noe tt i can b a real hypocrite n hurt u in anyway. Im reli sori..4 im bad n rotten..im tryin 2 change wit God's help..n i hop u guys will give me a chance..jz 2 b a real fren 2 u..I wanna say sorry 4 all d stupid gossips tt came out frm my mouth. Tryin hard 2 stop. Help me ya.

I mz do my best 2 do well in my remainin assignments nw n 2 put my whole heart in2 it n exam oso.

Even 4 my own family, i mz learn 2 love them more n spent more time carin 4 them. S in reli care n nt jz sit there n watch tv n tink i've spent time wit them.i need 2 b more sensitive 2 their needs..

I wanna b prepared n do enough of studies n preparation 4 bible study, YA n my sundy school ministry.

I wanna b discipline in takin care of my appearance s well.

Oh God help tis sinful girl change her way.

Here's sum pics frm my mlm perdana!

2009-03-26T14:02:00.001+08:00

For those of u tt actually seen sum pics frm facebook, here's more of me in saree!!:P

Me n guitarist of d nite -Azrul Wandi

Ah yeah,i lik tis pic.hehe..

All d mass comm chinese pretty girls.huhu..nt all la,bt most. Me n yao lin, tis guy is superb in his japanese.

Me n leng luis....poh li n hui er...

A Lil Part Of Him In Me.

2009-03-24T17:54:00.000+08:00

I was in Equatorial Bangi 4 my course nite dinner.It was a blast n i was d informal emcee 4 d nite. Was pretty nervous, but got thru it, thx 2 God's blessings n oso His providence of Rosyam Nor *famous malay artist,fwwt* 2 co host wit me 4 awhile. Bt now aft it's all ove, s i look back on tt nite, i realised how much impact he made in my life n how he stil left a mark in me. He shaped me in sum ways 2 b wat im.

Tt nite, wen i was on stage, s i was talkin, i din notice it,bt i was actually talkin n actin s he did wen he's on stage. I emulated him n sumhow, wit tt knowledge, he gav me d confidence 2 emcee well. It is s though he was standin behind me, encouragin me. A shadow of confidence n comfort.

He influenced me so greatly, tt rite now, he's a part of me - who i am, unknowingly. It saddened me so much 2 tink tt tis presence is no longer there n watever i felt tt nite durin dinner was jz a shadow of d past.

He was such a big part of my life. I owe so much 2 him 4 he taught me so many things, though of coz he was nv perfect or always rite. Most importantly, he taught me how 2 love another imperfect person so perfectly.

He left, but he left a lil part of him in me. N i dun tink i can ever shed him off jz lik tt.

Tears wanna flow s i write tis..but i guess ppl move on wit their life..n i wish him all d best..though he'll nv noe tis.

She Will Be Loved

2009-03-13T02:35:00.000+08:00

I dun mind standin everyday,
Out in d corner in pourin rain,
N ask her if she wanna stay awhile,
N she will be loved..
N she will be loved..

I was so depressed tis evenin s i was walkin down frm hostel 2 cafe tis evening around 6pm. Rain was pourin n d sound of thunder was so loud, i felt d vibration in my heart. Depressed tt there was no 1 2 care 4 me even wen it was rainin so hard. No 1 tt'll come n bring me thru d rain..i was oso depressed bcos i can't find ppl 2 fetch me 2 d exam hall n oso 2 come back 2 hostel aft exam.Worried tt i'll reach exam hall late n oso worried 4 my safety wen i wait 4 bus at 10.30pm aft exam finish.

I prayed 2 God askin 4 d rain 2 stop so tt i can hitch d bus 2 go exam hall by 7pm.

God is wonderful.

He stopped d rain juz in time aft i finished my dinner.

He provided Joceline, my coursemate, a real kind soul, who let me go 2 her room, linger around wit her,then we went exam hall 2gether wit her senior who fetched us there. Juz wen i was worried bout how 2 go exam hall..

Then aft exam, Joceline asked tt senior 2 fetch me back Zaba.
I was honestly reli touched by Joceline's sincerity n care s a fren.
1.She was afraid i'll b attacked by monkey wen i went find her in her hostel.
2.She was afraid of me tired walkin d long steep stairs of ibu zain 2 find her. She considered askin her fren fetch me juz so tt i dun hv 2 climb d stairs.
3. She actually planned on my behalf n asked d senior fetch me back za ba.
4. She made me felt reli at home wen i was in her room.

Joceline has always been a gentle girl but pretty quiet. But her chatter juz now made me realized she was juz tryin 2 make me feel comfortable. How sweet of her n how nice of d senior oso.

Came back hostel, only 2 hear frm Jaya kor tt d assembly of BTGC prayed 4 my safety. N all my coursemates lik Vaani, Mei Wai, Poh Li n Leesan askin me how was my paper..N calvin n jason.Aunt Kim msged juz 2 ask if i got back safely.

How different my mood is frm 6pm. D love n care frm ppl around me n d encouragements they gave.

Most importantly..God's love n hugs of protection thru out d day n nite.

Truly d girl standin outside in pourin rain, was loved.

N she will be loved.

Bury my head in2 d book.

2009-03-12T13:14:00.000+08:00

Lalala~~~

Printed my BJ work tis mornin, passed it up n settled my shootin stuff oso..ahh..sense of saitsfaction frm finishin my assignments.buhuhu~~more 2 come but it's ok..1 day at a time..1 day at a time..

Next thing 2 do is.....revise 4 2nite's exam frm 8.30pm 2 10.30pm..

i love countin down my work progress on my blog..sorry 2 bore u guys..hahha...but it's a fascination..

1:19 pm - tk shower!

2:07pm - start chapter 2 pg 37 of PPO.

3:24pm - pg 44??..no way..no more distraction!

2009-03-12T01:05:00.000+08:00

cont countdown on assignments..

1:05 am 11 March 2009 - cont my BJ.

2:15am - 5.5 pages 2 go..

3:09 am - ops..busy chattin wit Soo Ann..slowed down. 5 pages 2 go..

4:27 am - lookin 4 sum blog deco. 3 pages 2 go..

5:09 am- brain jam..been scrollin ntg online..stil 3 pages 2 go..

6.31am - finished BJ already!YES!

Meditation on Ezra

2009-03-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

I nv seems 2 b able 2 finish readin d old testament esp wit all d names n geneologies of who is whose son...always find d old testament a challengin thing.im only familiar wit genesis, jonah n esther.n half of exodus n bit of 1st samuel n 2nd samuel.n bit of psalms n proverbs..basically, i noe bit of here n there..but i reli feel lik changin it tis yr bcos s ppl said, there is no easy way out 2 noe God n d best way is obviously 2 read d bible. SO anyway, enuff said, 2day i read Ezra in 1 sittin while eatin roti murtabak n drink nescafe. A book tt i nv reli read n i dunno wat went on in it.

I found it so amazin n fascinatin s i read it. Ezra was a book of victory, but not d victory of mankind, but rather d victory of a glorious God tt use mankind s His instrument. It was wonderful 2 read bout how d temple of God was restored n most importantly d faith of God's children restored. It was great readin of d repentance of a whole nation tt renew their pledge 2 b obedient 2 God. Christ rejoiced over 1 lost child, wat more d whole congregation of Israel. Wat joy it muz hav been 2 God. We muz learn of how much it pains God wen we live in disobedience n how much God rejoiced wen we follow Him. We r so not worthy of tt trust n hope God given us, but all these r only possible bcos of our Lord Jesus Christ!

But it is important tt we noticed, without God's powerful hand of intervence, d rebuildin of God's temple was not possible. It is a precious reminder 2 us tt in our service 2 God, we can't go far if we r not relyin on God's protection frm d evil ones n God's power. It'll only b matter of time b4 we lose sight of our mission. Juz s Mary choose 2 sit at d feet of our Lord Jesus Christ n choose wat tt was important - 2 listen 2 our Lord, we shd do juz tt n b careful lest we fall in2 d trap of servin without worship. It's 1 of Satan's famous plan, tt's 2 keep us busy wit service, we lose our focus on Christ.

It amazed me tt God can use any1 2 move n do things d way He planned. God put forth in Isaiah a prophecy tt He will use Cyrus d king in His plan 200 yrs b4 Cyrus was born!God used d non believer kings in His plan 2 rebuild His temple. Look at d extend which d Gentile kings were willin 2 go in rebuildin d temple n u'll find tt there is no motivation 4 them 2 do so, except d fact tt God was behind it all. ( Ezra 1:2-8 n 6:3 - 12)

Alas, we muz rem, tt d devil is constantly prowling for victim. D more we stick close 2 God, d more d devil will try all his might 2 stop us. Ntg scares d devil more than a Christian walkin in d light of God. Wen God was restorin d temple 2 its splendor, enemies tried 2 stop it frm happened. But wat an assurance we hav, tt if it is d Lord's will, no matter wat we face, things will still work out in d end.

1 thing struck me oso. Wen i read till Ezra 9 n 10, i was reli caught by d focus tt d whole Israel hav in obedience 2 God. They grieved wen they found out tt they disobeyed d Lord by marryin those frm d other lands. Without tinkin, they knew it is d rite thing 2 do 2 put away all these wives n those who have been born 2 them (Ezra 10:3) I was bothered bcos bein a very nostalgic n a person tt put relationships of high priority, can i do d same if im in d Israelites shoe?i sumhow feel tt i can't. Im 2 emotionally weak 2 b so clear minded. I muz learn 2 fix my eyes on Lord Jesus Christ ( Hebrews 12:1-3) n follow Ezra's example in chapter 7 vs 10 : For Ezra has prepared his heart 2 seek d law of d Lord, n 2 do it, n 2 teach statutes n ordinances in Israel. We muz learn not 2 tolerate sin n grieved wen we fall. All these muz go beyond d emotional level of guilt, but instead shd lead 2 overflowin in worship of God's grace n action 2 stay away frm sin.

So much more can we learn frm His Word. May i glean n sift thru ur Word carefully n live my life accordin 2 Ur Word oh God..

Search me O God n know my heart,
Try me n noe my anxieties,
N c if there's a wicked way in me,
N lead me in d way everlastin.
Psalms 139: 23-24.

Countdown 2 assignments...

2009-03-11T02:34:00.000+08:00

it's now 2.37 am on 11th March 2009. gonna start my work now n do an hourly update of my progress..

im supposed 2 finish:
1. BJ report of 10 pages by tis fri.
2. Shooting by tmrw.
3. Read my PPO tt have 400 pages.so far managed 30 pages d. So 370 pages 2 go.
4. Complete my college application form.

3.45 am - 2pages of BJ. 8 more 2 go..

4.35 am - 1.25 page down. 6.75 more 2 go.

cont later.

time 2 zzzzzzzzz...

gonna wake up in 2.5 hours time n get prepared go shootin..adventurous...

Stung by bug.

2009-03-10T13:28:00.000+08:00

Im stung by a poisonous bug n had not been able 2 recover frm it.

D bug have a more scientific name i believe, but i only noe d common term of it, s LAZINESS.

I was stung maybe lik a mth ago *no la, all tis while oso got d toxic in my body, juz tt it nv reali manifested itself so badly till now* n i nv recover frm it till now.

Symptom of it:

1. All I do is sleep, eat,online n watch tv no matter how urgent my assignments r.

2. Procrastination is now my middle name.

3. Im laggin behind every of my coursemate in my work n stil dun feel a thing.

4. Stil bloggin wen im supposed 2 b doin my work now.

5. I hav a midterm tis thurs nite n i stil dunno wat is d subject all about.

Ahem ahem...reali hard 2 recover..but s always, there r many things 2 thx God about.

1. I hav reali hardworkin coursemates lik Lee Peng, Vaani n all d gangs tt incite d kiasu spirit in me 2 start workin on my assignments. muacks...love u guys lots.

2. I dun need 2 teach tuition tmrw nite which mean I can stay in hostel n try 2 do my work.

3. God will carry me thru tis.

So i guess in d end, stung by bug anot, i'll survive!

I noe i can do it!im gonna work lik crazy tis week!

2009-03-06T13:37:00.000+08:00

Juz tink my blog is a lil empty without pics..hehe..

so here u guys go!

Physical attraction..

2009-03-05T13:46:00.000+08:00

2day, in my BJ class, we were talkin bout how our physical appearance matters wen we appear on screen.

immediately i felt so self conscious. i had always been strugglin 2 love my own appearance. n i realised tt even till 2day, it's not over yet..d struggle is strong within me.

always feel so small n intimidated by girls around me, especially ever since wat happened 2 me last yr. reali gave a blow 2 watever self esteem stil left in me.

im below average..i dunno much bout makin up n lookin pretty.im down 2 earth.im short.im fat.i def dun hav d best figure or look tt kill.nor d best sense of fashion.or best smile.or anythin...i hate c-ing myself in photos especially.

can't help but 2 b envious of those who r born wit stunnin look.or those who r so self assured n knowin how good they look wit all d make up.

i feel insecure..i feel sad tinkin bout my outlook n my personality.i hav more weakness than goodness.how can i love myself?..

i can't..

2009-03-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

i praise God 4 His wonderful time of refreshment juz now s i was writin 2 God n emo-ing wit Him.

God noe me inside out n He granted me peace in d midst of all my worries..truly truly, who can add a single hour 2 his life by worryin??..Lord Jesus is d wisest 2 say tis...

Alot of assignment left undone n i gotta admit im being stung by d bug of laziness n indiscipline..haven been stayin focus..

God i need help..help me 2 stay focus in d things I muz do..

All charged up!

2009-03-03T10:41:00.001+08:00

Went up 2 Genting past 2 days 4 fun wit church frens - jason, tong how, pei yee, bel, keet n hwei huih.

I reali did enjoyed their company esp wen we played taboo.haha..

Space shot was cool oso!

But i guess, i was a lil emo oso up there s it brought back alot of memories tt i dun wanna recall..

Im ultimately glad i went wit tis bunch of ppl. I wanna create new wonderful memories tt r not associated 2 my past anymo!!

Oh ya, in tis trip i oso get 2 noe tong how better. Im glad bcos we nv reali talked b4 tis. He's reali a pretty easygoin guy. Even got him 2 b my daddy n pei yee my mummy! wakakakka...

Jason is now havin a post holiday blue.LOL.

It's a new day 2day.:) all recharged n no more emo emo time.

Im laggin behind in assignment n i reli need more discipline in d way i use my time.

N i need 2 stay focused.

Im glad i hav God behind me in everythin i do.:)

So now time 2 work reali reali hard tis week n finish up all d work!

All my coursemates n frens busy wit assignment, enjoy it! *i noe tis sound silly but juz try it ok!*

Dilemma..

2009-02-24T20:15:00.000+08:00

Wow..there goes another day..

Hmmm..it's not a bad day though..I've been movin all my assignments n most importantly, im goin home 2nite.hooray~~

Im now in a dilemma actually bout my course nite called malam perdana.

D committee is havin problem among themselves n i heard both side of d story.

N now 1 of d side r askin me 2 b an informal MC 4 d nite.

Then they wanna involve me in promotin d nite 2 those who r boikotin d Malam Perdana.

Im not reali sure if i shd b involved, but i reali pity my frens who worked so hard 2 make tis a wonderful nte 4 d 3rd yr who r graduatin soon.

Oh God, help me. Grant me wisdom tt i can help 2 make d nite work n every1 b happy bout it.

Help me not 2 gossip or talk bad bout any1 n b neutral in d whole thing.Help...

HAPPY DAY!

2009-02-23T18:26:00.000+08:00

I m so frustrated...wrote a super long post n then internet connection was down n it was all gone..*sob sob*

Im reali happy..
Happy tt it's all over..
D pain, d numbing stab in2 my heart,
Tt haunts me every second of my wakin moment,
D sadness n gloom tt shows out even wen i laughed,
It's over..

I love d song, Big Girls Dun Cry by Fergie,
esp d part tt says,
"It's time 2 b a big girl now, n big girl dun cry!"..
Yup...Big girls won't cry anymo.
My tears r so precious, i won't let it flow anymo without reason!
D only ppl worthy o my tears r those tt won't make me cry!
N i always cherish a lil story Sook Chin told me bout God collectin our tears in a bottle
N how every teardrop matters 2 Him.

D ordeal i been thru past 1 yr will officially b over tis comin 1st of March..
D lingerin stain tt was left will b cleared on tt day..
How i praise God!

Im goin 2 live life 2 d fullest n enjoy every bit of it includin d mountin assignment!

Oh by d way, i noe tis sound typically student......
IM STUCKED WIT 2 MANY FREAKIN ASSIGNMENTS!

P/s- im goin 2 stop bloggin n stop facebookin 4 2 days. Gonna go on a meditation trip 2 finish up freakin assignments tt r s high s Mount Everest now. Crossin finger tt i won't break tis rule.haha!

2009-02-23T17:17:00.000+08:00

Im so grateful 4 many things God had given me tis past 2 mths. I grew up alot thru out tis past 2 mths. D hardest time is over n now im healing..im waitin 2 soar high up. Lik a phoenix i always 1ted 2 b..

I was so lost n devastated,

Not understanding, how cld it b?

My world was dark, everythin fell apart.

I hugged myself n tears flowed freely,

I was trapped in a cage i did not 1 2 b,

So painful was d chain tt bound me.

But i stayed on in d cage,

4 i fear wat tt was outside,

Mayb, juz mayb,

It's better 2 b chained,

4 i grew 2 love d cage.

Painful, so painful s d chain got tighter,

i cld not breathe n i was in daze.

Yet i clinged on, harder than ever 2 myself,

No! I dun wanna leave tis cage.

God broke d chain n He dragged me out,

I was reluctant n i was filled wit sadness,

How cld tis b, tt d cage tt been my security,

Is now hurtin me so deeply..so deeply..

Like a child cried over a broken toy,

D loss was so great i cld not comprehend.

My loving gentle Father soothe me,

He wiped away my tears n held me tight,

He washed my wound gently,

N wit d most beautiful voice, i heard Him whisper,

My little princess, my beloved,

I muz do tis 4 ur own good,

B strong my dear,

4 i want u 2 b wat u reali r,

My princess, my lovely princess,

My phoenix,

So strong yet so beautiful...

N s Father spoke,

I saw His tears flow n felt His heartache.

Slow n fearful,

I spread my wings,

I 1ted 2 giv up 4 i noe not how 2 fly anymo,

S time ticks..i learned..

I flew n i soared high,

Only wt d strength by my Father,

I saw wat I reali am..

A child of God Most High,

A beautiful princess,

A phoenix tt is so gentle yet magical,

Not deservin 2 b trapped in d cage..

I now c, though i was blind,

Wit d scar i stil have,

N d wound s reminder,

I soar high,

Prayin 4 strength frm my dear Father,

2 dance d grand dance of a princess,

Choreograph solely 4 me,

4 peace n serenity 2 b strong,

N wit my tears, heal others wound..

NONSENSICAL RANDOM STUFF BOUT ME

2009-02-20T19:21:00.000+08:00

I decided 2 list down sum random stuff bout myself juz 4 fun. Let's c where i get.Haha..

Me n food.
1. Healthy food r NOT tasty..Tasty food r NOT healthy.*most of d time la*
2. I lik fast food - KFC, McD, Pizza Hut. Western food lik steak. Love seafood except fish. Fried chicken, Ramli Burger, Indo mee.
3. I LOVE tomyam sotong + rice + telur dadar. Been eatin it 4 almost every dinner since i 1st ate it in my college everytime i stay.
4. Fan of Old Town White Coffee. Esp d nissin noodle n french toast n most recently Polo Bun wit ham n cheese. Not 2 mention their coffee. Generally love their coffee compared 2 Starbucks coffee. Feel tt Starbucks coffee is very creamy.
5. Always eat d same old thing in d same old place n not get bored.
6. Generally dunno how 2 appreciate good food. Taste bud can't reali sense d difference most of d time. Food will stil come out frm ur body d same place end of d day no matter how tasty it's.
7. NOT willin 2 spend much on food.

Me n my body.
1. I love my skin colour n my wrist.
2. I used 2 tink tt height matters, but not reali these days. Dun mind makin fun of myself n exploitin d goodness of being short. Im 148cm by d way.
3. I hate my dark circles n pale lips.
4. I like my cute lil feet though can b a hassle wen lookin 4 shoe n yes, i DO go kids department sumtimes 2 shop 4 sandal or shoe.
5. Can hav bad pimple days wen stressed up or lackin of sleepin.
6. Big arms n thighs.
7. Weight is 44 currently. Nv been tis fat ever since Form 5. I put on 4 kgs within these past 3 mths!HELP!
8. Generally pretty low self esteem s im not pretty or hot. Juz ordinary n more often tt not passed off s a wallpaper tt is there but nv been noticed.

Gonna go dinner now 4 my usual tomyam sotong n rice n telur dadar. Later we cont ah!

D yr of many 1st time!

2009-02-18T08:57:00.000+08:00

Good mornin every1! I juz went 4 my 1st jog in UKM or i shd say my 1st personal jog in my life!Hehe..s many of u'll noe, im nv a healthy kind. Im purely contented 2 b a fat cute lil couch potato. :P

But it's now showin on my face. My black circles can't b hidden anymo.:( tt's y 4 d 1st time in my life, now im tryin 2 live a healthier life 2 flush out all d toxic in my body. Ntg big though. Tryin 2 drink more water *i normally survive without water 4 full day* thru out January n i managed 2! Now im drinkin 2 litres of water everyday! tt's 1 1st.

Now im crossin my fingers tt i can keep up wit tis joggin routine. D bed sure feel good wen it's time 2 wake up 2 jog.:P

It's my 1st yr s a single aft 5 long yrs, my 1st time celebratin new yr, CNY n Valentine s a single.
Then my 1st yr in kajang 4 d whole CNY ever since last 5 yrs oso. Past 5 yrs, i've been goin trips. 1st time visited frens hse 4 CNY, 1st time invited frens 2 my hse 4 CNY.Hehe..Oh, n my 1st yr of celebratin my 1st day of CNY not goin 2 my grandfather's hse. Overslept tt mornin. :( 1 of d 1st time im not proud of.

Then my 1st time goin many places. 2 embarassed 2 list down those places though. u guys'll b suprised tt i juz started goin places lik tt. :P lik...Mont Kiara..ok ok, enough revealin.

Neway, it's oso my 1st time in yrs celebratin sook chin's bday. S a matter of fact, i tink i nv celebrated 4 her.hehe...sorry girl, lookin 4ward 4 more!

Then it's my 1st time stayin in uni though i dun hv class d next mornin. Normally, i'll fly home d day i finish class. But not tis yr. Im now in uni though im not havin class 2day.hehe..

Then it's my 1st time bloggin. Im sure u can c im such a freshie, wen every1 is d so tired of bloggin. Sorry la, im always slow 1 ma. Oh of coz, not 2 mention, bein able 2 online frm room in uni since they started havin d wi fi service in whole uni.:)

My 1st time in Astro.hehe..cool.

N my 1st time doin my own film.

N listenin 2 Fly FM. *it's been ages i ever tuned in 2 radio*

*giggle* Juz tot of another 1st time, but tt 1 is 2 personal 2 b told.:P

Juz hopin tt i'll b headin d rite direction wit my many 1st time tis yr.

I 1ted a different good yr ahead n so far, im thxful tt everythin is juz tt. Im glad im achievin more tis yr.:)

Im lookin 4ward 4 my trip up 2 Gentin 2 overnite wit frens 4 d 1st time. I mean, im a frequent goer of Genting, juz tt i nv go there overnite wit frens.

Neway, juz hopin 4 few 1st time lik:-

Finish readin d whole Bible 4 d 1st time. Leviticus, im not goin 2 giv up on u!
Hopin 2 read more books oso. So far, read Chicken Soup 4 D Soul, a missionary account on Abu Sayyaf n re read Narnia d Last Battle. Tryin 2 read more doctrinal book.
Once i manage 2 get d hook on joggin n drinkin alot of water, i'll start cuttin down *not quit ok* on my fast food n tomyam sotong intake. But so far, not plannin 2 do so. Way 2 tasty 2 b given up.
Juz 2 spend more time wit family n frens.:)

My emo time..

2009-02-17T22:20:00.000+08:00

It's a wonder how wen u came back frm a tired day of class, d rainy weather n physical tiredness'll make ur mood swing all of a sudden n u feel so depressed. Suddenly, it's s though every sound around u sound so loud..all u 1 2 do is retire 2 a quiet place n juz enjoy d serenity of bein alone.. I nv undstood tis wen sum1 last time always tell me tis. But i finally get it.

I came back n had my shower. I obliged 2 my routine of chattin wit my roomy. "i need 2 b alone", my heart says. I told my roomy im goin down 4 my dinner in cafe though i can always ta pau. D moment i reach cafe, i was happy tt i finally can sit down by myself without talkin 2 any1, 2 enjoy a good square meal n juz emo wit God. Alas!there goes sum of my frens tt came n sat down n eat wit me. Wit full courtesy,i sat n there went another round of chat 2 get 2 noe them better. Then they asked me 2 go over 2 their room. Later i say.

It's so hard juz 2 b alone. Ppl tink it's miserable 2 b alone. But i tink we all need sum time alone juz 2 b wit God bcos we so easily missed His presence in our hustle of routine. S d bride tt slept then missed d presence of her Beloved in Songs of Songs, so we need 2 b aware whether we r missin Him s we r so caught up wit ourselves. Wen we missed Him, it's not His loss, but rather, it's ours. Juz s how d bride was overwhelmed wit d smell of her Beloved n d flower after He left, let' us all vow not 2 do d same, 2 leave our Bridegroom wen He knocked on our door.

On another note, i felt a mixture of many emotions 2day, it's drainin me out. I feel guilty 4 treatin a real nice person cruelly, but i noe i muz do it so tt i won't do him n myself any harm. i muz b cruel 2 b kind, cool n indifferent on d surface. Then it brought a trail of thoughts. I felt happy, 2 noe him n 2 noe sum other ppl. Yet, i treated them in a manner tt's bad bcos i wanna protect myself n 2 certain extend, them.

They dun und how much unhappiness i can bring them. They dun get it tt i can hurt them so easily. N i'll hurt them not bcos of their fault, but rather bcos of sum1 else. A shadow or more lik a ghost of my past.

Will i ever b able 2 break tis wall down n sumday trust again?..I dun wanna hurt any1, no..but i noe i will if they get any closer 2 me.

I need 2 b alone..alone so tt i'll hurt no 1..im tired of tryin 2 cast away d dark shadow tt lurks around me n refusin 2 let me go..

i muz put a mask on...4 now..

I can't b d same old Suetnie..

2009-02-17T15:51:00.000+08:00

Ppl said tt u r often confused wit wat u reali r we u r a teenager..y do i still feel tt way even now??..guess im juz lik my physical, stil stunted at age of 21 *hey, almost there, stop gigglin*

Im stil findin myself at tis point of time. Still tryin 2 noe who i reali am. Last time i love d song, Stay D Same by Joey. Yet now, wen I listened 2 it these days, i realized, i do not 1 2 b d old Suet Nie. At least not wat i had been 4 d past few yrs.

S i reflected on my past few yrs, i regretted many things.

My passion 4 God was mere lukewarm. Did i worship Him wit zeal? Nop. Did i serve Him s i shd? Nop. Did i read His Word n pray s i shd? Nop.

D time tt i missed out hangin out wit frens, carin 4 my frens, buyin stuff 4 them, hangin out more n chattin more wit my family. I invested my time in2 sumthin else n turned in2 sum1 tt i don't lik 2 look at now.

Did i ever bother 2 rem frens bday? Nop. Did i ever b there wen they r in trouble? Nop. I was fully contented in my own world. Did i go out wit them n spend time wit them wen im busy? Nop.

Wen i look at my assembly, wat hv i done 4 my bros n sis in Christ? Did i serve them wit all my heart s i shd? Nop. I was a taker much more than a giver. I nv care enough other than d shallow hehe haha.. I was personally not sharin anythin 2 them.

D past 1 yr esp hurt me wen i look at my family. Not tt i did anythin wrong 2 them, but i was hurtin myself n i wallow in self pity, not realizin they need me. They need my time, attention n most importantly, my prayers.

I can't n i muz not b d same old suetnie.

I wanna love n care s i shd. 2 b human again rather than d cold, uncarin, selfish nie ppl always known me s. I dun 1 2 b a hypocrite anymo. God, help me..

I HATE BENJAMIN BUTTON!

2009-02-17T00:43:00.000+08:00

b4 u start jumpin in protest n decided 2 leave negativ comment on my blog, allow me 2 explain myself.

4 those who dunno bout tis show, tis show is bout benjamin (brad pitt) who was born old n die young. He aged reversedly compared 2 normal human. D storyline is very interestin 2 start wit.

However i had many doubts b4 i watched tis show. I wondered at how they r goin 2 pull it off logically. I mean does tt mean his mum kept an old man in her stomach? How is she goin 2 fit tt old man in her tummy n much more gave birth 2 tis old man?n if tt's d case, is he born wit d wisdom of an old man or he is juz a baby in an old man's body? If he has a wisdom of an old man, does tt mean he'll talk n have lotsa wisdom wen he turn baby??..

But all my douts was unfounded. They pull it off superbly. Though d script can b pretty dry n philosophical sumtimes, it was all made up wit d intense emotion put in by d casts.

U reali hav 2 get in2 d show, 2 feel d depth of love tt a motherly nature lady hav 4 a special child despite other ppl's view n c-ing wat others can't c.

Now 2 d part y i say i hate benjamin button. It was so movin 2 c how d 2 main cast was in love,yet not bein able 2 b 2gether due 2 their circumstances. Their love went thru many things n came out unharmed. N wen they finally get 2gether, it was but lik a meteor, a short yet beautiful love..

I came out frm cinema, feelin sad 4 d unconditional true love tt stand d test of time. I hav nv cried ever since i last watched king kong *sorry, king kong is way 2 cute 2 b killed, my poor baby!*

Tt's y i hate benjamin button! I vow, if i find my true love, i'll reali love him n app it, 4 s tis movie show, it is indeed a privilege if u hv d chance 2 love sum1 n b loved.

P/s - trust me, i nv find brad pitt s handsome. He's juz ok in my eyes. so my view is definitely 1 tt's based on his actin alone n ntg more!

another mundane tots.

2009-02-16T15:08:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...gonna watch curious case of benjamin later n wonderin how it's gonna b lik. Pretty excited bout it act.hehe..

Neway,2day a topic keep comin out among my coursemate.. Is brand important wen we buy sumthin??...I personally dun care bout brand n i seems pretty cheapo i guess.

But..no doubt..wit ppl around me gettin all worked up bout their clothes,shoe,bag brands, kinda make me wonder, shd i start carin bout brand??..

Hmm...i still hav no straight answ at tis point of time.Its' pretty subjectiv 4 every1.But i guess 4 now, im happy 2 b a girl who can't c d difference between a Padini shirt n a RM10 pasar malam shirt!*sorry 2 those who feel insulted tt i can't make out d difference!*

neway, gotta get goin. keep u guys updated bout benjamin later!brad pitt,here i come!

It's been a memorable Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T17:22:00.000+08:00

My Valentine have nv been more different than tis yr..4 d past 5 yrs,my Valentine was juz lik any other couple. Tis yr, my Valentine have been a BLAST though in a very different way.

I started my countdown by celebratin wit my bunch of old frens, *u noe who u r* n it was crazily funny s we laughed n talked. Juz hangin around. May sound simple n ntg big, but it is sumthin of big significance 2 me..Y, u ask..hmmm...I'll tell u..

God reali love me. Im so glad 4 tis group of frens n few others tt stick 2 me thru thick n thin ever since i noe them. I gotta admit, im not d best of fren 4 im nv d kind tt keep in touch n i do tend 2 push them aside wen i have so called "more-important-things" 2 do.As I sat there, staring at each of them, each wit their own distinct personality, studies n path, yet truly frens, I can't help tinkin, do I deserve tis frens? I esp felt their love thru out last yr wen i was goin thru difficult period.

I dun hav many frens, neither do i plan 2 hav many hi-bye fren, but God had blessed me wit all these angels in disguise. I love u ppl!

Though im sad tt many of them either already left or leavin soon 2 oversea, they r all written in my heart! N i'll keep them there, safe n secure!

2day, I went Astro 4 sum uni stuff. It was cool n fun. Then I looked at myself n realised how much I had changed. Wen I 1st came in uni, I hate it n I love goin home, everyday! *poor thing my dad gotta pick me up n down, he's truly d best dad* Now, I feel reali grateful 2 God 4 givin me a course tt I like n enjoy doin. I tink im startin 2 feel nostalgic bout UKM already!

Later, im goin 2 church 4 YA n im goin 2 present bout Solomon. God in many ways, tot me bout lovin Him beyond things of d earth, 4 2 Him, He can giv me much better things then wat d world offer thru Solomon. Again, I can't help but thx Him 4 His love beyond degree.

Not to mention my assembly, who had been there 4 me in many ways, uphold me in prayer, teach me more bout God n oso encourage me thru their lives. Oh how blessed!

Great family, great frens, great assembly n above all a GREAT God,how can I say tt im not blessed n loved??...

God gave me more than I prayed 4. I only ask tt He pull me thru Valentine, but He opened my eyes 2 a whole diff dimension of Valentine. How can I thx God enough..Thx U Lord, though im weak, U r mightily strong.

2009-02-13T14:45:00.000+08:00

my 1st post on blog!

2009-02-13T14:25:00.004+08:00

Hmmm...everyone mz b wonderin wat did it take me tis long 2 act start a blog..2 start wit, i gotta clarify 1 thing, i dun have anythin against blog. I reali do enjoy readin ppl's blog n c how ppl write n tink bout how different they r in real person n in their blog. U oso get 2 noe a person better thru his or her blog. On a lighter note, sumtimes there are interestin pics of food, clothes n places *all d things tt i reali love*

But yeah,back 2 my point. I nv blog bcos i juz tink tt my life is fairly mundane n ordinary tt there is ntg much 2 write bout. Plus d hassle 2 update it every now n then. Im not a good writer unfortunately, so writer block is more of a norm 2 me than a crisis tt happen. :P Neway, so wat make me start bloggin?..

Ntg reali bombastic wit all d lightning stuff or drama watsoever. I juz tot tt i shd juz learn 2 express myself more freely in writin n hopin tt practise make perfect! Or mayb im juz succumbin 2 d peer pressure, since every1 is havin a blog! Juz tot tt no harm done 2 try it out! So which reason 2 b more precise?..i dunno myself..err..sorry, tt's juz me. Blur n complicated. Nite!